Things you dont want to hear over the Star Destroyer PA

[Ender 8]

"Thank you for flying Imperial Air. If you'll look out the portside windows you'll have the opportunity to see the Black Hole we are currrently headed directly for. Unfortunately we've lost all navigation abilities and will be unable to avoid this impending disaster. On the plus side, we will be offering free drinks for the duration of this doomed flight. Thanks again for flying Imperial Air, we hope you enjoy the rest of your flight and have a great day."

Get it? Have fun.

[Andy 60]

"And Captaining todays journey to the Hoth system is Admiral Ozzel..."

[Bad furday 57]

"Attention please...we have had a malfunction with the plumbing. All toilets from decks 27 to 45 will be out of order. Those needing to use the facilities on decks 27 through 45 will be directed to decks 26 or 46.

Oh yes...the hover lifts are currently not working on decks 27 to 45 either. Please use the stairs. Thank you!"

[Andy 60]

"If you look to you right you will see the beautiful Sanctuary Moon of Endor, and if you look to your left, you will see a rebel fleet led by Rogue Squadron"

[Andy 60]

"Please welcome our special guest for this evening - Emperor Palpatine"

[CorSec 5]

"We have been pushed away from the Yavin system through some sort of hokey religion. Our Lightspeed engines are disabled and we will return to the nearest Imperial Repair Depot in roughly 20 Years at Sublight speeds..."

"Self Destruct Imminent, Thank you and Good day"

[Ender 8]

And now, Lord Vader will kill anyone who is not wearing a thong!!

[Princess 35]

A Gammorrean has been let loose onboard ship. All refreshers are currently unavailable for the next 72 standard hours as we try to repair the system. Have a smiley day.

[Ender 8]

"Im sorry to say that we are surrounded by an armada of Rebel warships and fighters that have just fired numerous torpedoes and missiles at us. We have no shields or other means of defense, but the Captain will be singing "Palpatine Forever" until we are blown apart. Please enjoy your fiery demise."

[Andy 60]

"For your in-flight entertainment pleasure, we are pleased to announce that Lord Vader's personal music collection, featuring his own renditions of 70s disco classics, will be playing non-stop for the rest of the journey"

[CorSec 5]

"Oxygen will run out in three....two....*cough...choke*....*drop*"

[Admiral Daala 0]

"Thank you for joining us today. We shall be doing the electric slide with our special guest-Micheal Jackson."

[Andy 60]

"Oxygen will run out in three....two....*cough...choke*....*drop*"

:lol:

[Princess 35]

Hidoe mesa called Jar Jar Binks. Mesa da new Captain.

[Andy 60]

:rof:

[Ender 8]

"Attention, an insane, very annoying Gungan is now Captain. He is insisting on driving the ship, and is veering us towards a black hole. A black hole? What the ewok? Hey, Gungan, stop that... *Sound of a blaster bolt hitting a man* All righto now, mesa deh Captain. Mesa gonna kill yousa all, and the mesa gonna escape through mesa special escapin craft. Bye bye!"

[Andy 60]

"All systems on board this ship have now been upgraded to Windows 95"

[Bad furday 57]

"Ignore previous announcement. All systems will be changed and upgraded to Mac OS X! "

[toppmatt 0]

Warning, We are now approaching The Yuuzhan Vong fleet in orbit around Coruscant. We regret to inform you that we are being ruthlessly attacked. As I speak the shields are being drained by the Yuuzhan Vong. We are now watching as they send Plasma Missile towards us Thankyou for travelling with Remnant Airway.... *static*

[CorSec 5]

"Ignore Previous comments about system upgrading. We have updated all the onboard computers to Include the "Microsoft Works" software *uproarious laughter is heard as people contemplating what would happen if Microsoft...actually did work :wink: *"

[toppmatt 0]

"Ignore previous announcements. We have now upgraded to Windows XP, wiht Microsoft works 2002. Also we would like you to know that every passenger has been given a free MSN Hotmail account." :lol:

[chozen 1]

*Blank stare at the above*

[Drake 53]

Forget all of those announcements. We've decided to switch to binary code to avoid conflict between Apple and Microsoft. Therefore...0110100100100000011011000110100101101011011001010010

0000011000110110100001101001011000110110101101100101011011100

0100000011010010010000001101100011010010110101101100101001000

0001101100011010010111011001100101011100100010000001101101011

0010101101111011101110010000001101101011010010111100000100000

0110110101100101011011110111011100100000011011010110100101111

0000010000001110000011011000110010101100001011100110110010100

10000001100100011001010110110001101001011101100110010101110010.

[Ender 8]

Neo, you're screwy.

[Drake 53]

0111100101100101011100110010000001101001001000000110000101101101

Translation = "Yes I am"