Things you dont want to hear over the Star Destroyer PA

[CorSec 5]

"We've captured the butter boy after much fight and have detained him to a cell. Bah! mention of lightsabers in the Imperium is strictly prohibited.."

[Ender 8]

"Butter is now forbidden on all Imperial navy ships"

[Captain Keyes 0]

"We've captured the butter boy after much fight and have detained him to a cell. Bah! mention of lightsabers in the Imperium is strictly prohibited.."

This is Captain Keyes. I have now removed the Borg from the bridge and freed the butter boy. I am now in charge and... Oh Holy Hell! Covenant assault fleet inbound, all hands prepare to repel boarders."

[CorSec 5]

"Butter is now forbidden on all Imperial navy ships"

:lol:

[Bad furday 57]

"All ships in the Imperial Fleet will now be the proud users of 'I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!' Enjoy!"

[chozen 1]

:lol:

[Ender 8]

Keyes- This is Spartan 127 at the ready, sir!

"There is a boarding party of Covenant inbound, and it's entirely Elites and Hunters. This is really fun, wouldnt you say?"

[Captain Keyes 0]

Keyes- This is Spartan 127 at the ready, sir!

"There is a boarding party of Covenant inbound, and it's entirely Elites and Hunters. This is really fun, wouldnt you say?"

*loads shotgun*

"All hands stand to action stations. I'll shoot any coward who runs."

[Drake 53]

*is resting near a bulkhead when a large group of Covanent troops run down the hall*

This is a Star Wars vessel...there's no place for you here.

*Force chokes all of them and tosses them out the airlock*

[Andy 60]

:lol:

[Sticks 1]

"I Can't Believe it's Not Better...er...Butter, I mean, has been banned. Margarine will now take it's place."

[TheUnknown 39]

"Attention: Our resident psychologist has indicated that the current selection of music played over the intercom is poor toward morale and motivation. Therefore, we have decided to play John Tesh, Barbara Streisand, Styx, and Neil Diamond for the rest of our trip. Enjoy."

[Drake 53]

"Due to higher productivity and automation of our mechanical components, the Emperor has decided to lay off some of our workforce. All crew working in sections D and E, please proceed to the nearest airlocks for your...uh...re-evaluation. Heh..."

[Andy 60]

"Because of increased rebel activity in the area, all personell will be given a crash course in TIE-fighter piloting"

[TheUnknown 39]

"To combat the Rebel Alliance's image as a place for young, free-spirited humanoids, the Emporer has decried that the standard Imperial uniform be changed to steel thong bikinis."

[Admiral Daala 0]

*bad image*

[Bad furday 57]

"Any officer found with an aluminium or titanium thong bikini for unfair advantages due to lighter weight will be punished by one or all of our leigion of onboard dominatrixes!"

[CorSec 5]

"The Emperor is now arriving to recieve his very own Steel Thong, be sure to compliment him before he leaves*

[chozen 1]

..."Touching is advised!"

[Ender 8]

"And now, may I present our new Captain? Captain Jakenson, step forth."

[Rogue 4]

"Attention all Crew members, A group of rebel spies have been found onboard after the stealing of valuable biotoxins, and the destruction of our hyperdrives.

We managed to kill the Rebels, but they managed to stash the vials away before we got to them. Although we do not know where the biotoxins have been dropped, several deaths have been reported in the lunch rooms. I am afraid all crew will have to refrain from eating until we reach the next available system, which due to hyperdrive's destruction will take about 9 months.

Our out of ship comm unit has also been destroyed, but there is good news.

Both the Emporer and Lord Darth Vader Were among the dead---"

[CorSec 5]

"We've managed to secure a suitable slave labour force from this forested planet. They seem to be primitive and unintelligent. *A large amount of chittering, screaming, and Ewok war cries are heard*...Oh god! There going nuts! Abandon ship! All crew abandon ship! *A series of explosions is heard over the comm before it goes dead*"

[CorSec 5]

:lol:

[Occo, The Eternally Mana-Screwed One 0]

"Due to a glitch in our HoloNet systems, Sesame Street will be playing continously for the next five standard days...the remainder of our voyage. Also, Emperor Palpatine has mandated that HoloNet receptors are NOT to be deactivated under any circumstances. Thank you, and have a nice trip."

[Ki-Yurei 0]

"Emergency! Possesed Kowakian Monkey-lizards, drunken Jawas, and deranged(sp) Ewoks are taking over the.....*static*.....!! Aiiieeeehaa!! Utiniiiii! Ahahahhahahahah!!"