Things you dont want to hear over the Star Destroyer PA

[Chickenman 9]

"This is your Captain speaking. The medical ward has just informed me of an infestation of pubic lice aboard this ship. We will of course not release the name of the crewmember responsible, CoughLieutenantDixieCough, so please-"

"Umm, sir? You're supposed to actually cough, not say the word 'cough.'"

"Shut up, Dixie! You've caused enough problems on this boat as it is! Or just one. The lice. Anyway. As this ship is self contained, we'll have to sit tight and live with it until we reach the next Imperial Outpost. In further news, our sublight drives are still in disrepair, giving us a good four months before we can reach the next outpost. Also, as you can imagine, this means no more vacations to Zeltros, ever. Have a nice day."

[TheUnknown 39]

"Does anyone know how to disable the self destruct sequence on a star destroyer?  Asking for a friend."