Ask a Stupid Question, Get a Stupid Answer

[Ayingel 24]

The souls of the undelivered speeches.

When did the cuckoo go off?

[Pandora 77]

Right before it died.

Where can I get one of those?

[James the Defender 7]

At Ace, the Helpful Place.

Who is my father?

[Princess 35]

Luke

Why is it raining today and supposed to snow tomorrow?

[James the Defender 7]

Because Wookies are tall.

Why is my sandwich gone?

[Pandora 77]

Because it was duct taped to the chicken.

How can I get a billion things done in one day, but when there's only one thing to do I'm useless?

[Princess 35]

Too much blood in your caffeine system.

Why is my backyard a sheet of bumpy ice?

[Pandora 77]

Because you live in Florida.

When will it get warmer in my office??

[Princess 35]

When you sacrifice a virgin.

Am I getting influenza?

[Pandora 77]

Only if you asked for it.

Why do I have to agree to everything?

[Princess 35]

Because you love to say no

Where are all these spambots coming from?

[Ayingel 24]

The spam factory down the road.

Who ate the soylent green?

[Pandora 77]

*gulp* The what?

Is it May yet?

[Bad furday 57]

When Venus and Mars are in the Moon's shadow, then it will be.

Why is Cetaphil so hilariously subliminal?

[Pandora 77]

Because potatos.

Will any of my students pass their exam tonight?

[James the Defender 7]

Depends on if they have a dog or a cat.

Why does my dog have a cone of shame?

[Pandora 77]

Because he's too proud.

Where have I been?

[Ayingel 24]

Where I am going.

Where am I going?

[Bad furday 57]

To the hop!

Why is there always that one Amazon reviewer who's a complete idiot?

Edited February 28, 2013 by Bad furday

[Pandora 77]

Because they must meet their drool quota for the day.

Is my thesis done yet?

[James the Defender 7]

You must make sure the time machine is complete first. Then--and only then--shall it be so.

Why do I love my wife so much?