Ongoing Comedy 2: When You Wish Upon a Star Wars.

[Tsl 7]

"Remove the Teletubbies topknot and choke him or her with it until dead," read Drake. "Alright, Tinky Winky! Prepare to die!"

He looked up to find not only Tinky Winky, but all four Teletubbies standing around him and Tsl. The rest of the Psychoes and Jedi were completely cut off, held back by thousands of Tubby clones who had randomly appeared.

"Oh no!" shrieked Tsl as the green one tried to pinch her in an inappropriate place.

"Gah!" yelled Drake. He aimed a punch at the offending Tubby, but it dodged away too quickly. "There are too many of them!"

"Laalaaaa!" said the yellow one. She tried to pinch Drake in an inappriopriate place.

Drake and Tsl huddled together and prayed for salvation.

***

Meanwhile, the rest of the group was surrounded by thousands upon thousands of Teletubby clones. Rogue cried hysterically and clung to Furday, who trembled with fear. Fett and Ender stood back to back aiming their multitude of weapons at various Tubbies, trying to decide which to shoot first and realizing that as soon as they made a move, they would both be crushed by a wave of angry Tubbies. Mara had resigned herself to death, and stood patting Prin on the back. Prin had gone emotionally numb, and didn't even seem to notice the imminent threat surrounding her. Instead, she sat staring dejectedly into space and clutching a BBQ'd leg of Nomi to her chest. Chicken had completely lost his mind, and he sat babbling something about butter and vacuum cleaners, while Beeurd hovered around threatenly, trying his best to scare away the Tubbies with his Angel of Death routine. Anyone else I forgot to mention huddled together and cried.

The Jedi had been completely forgotten by the psychoes. Jacen had passed out and his brother and sister tried unsuccessfully to revive him whilst keeping a wary eye on the Tubbies.

***

"Our prayers aren't being answered!" cried Drake.

"That's because this is Star Wars and there is no God, only the Force!" replied Tsl.

"Oh yeah....but I can't feel these thingies in the Force!" said Drake.

"Me neither!" said Tsl. She clinged to Drake and resigned herself to death.

Drake clinged to Tsl and sighed. What a way to die! He was a Sith Lord and here he was about to be killed by a pack of ravenous children's show critters. "I'm sorry, love," he said. "I'll see you in the afterlife thingy....or wherever it is dead Sith go."

"Hell?"

"Yeah, I'll see you in Hell!"

Just then, an odd sing-songy voice was heard, "I love you! You love me!"

The Teletubbies looked up from their victims, startled. The Sith, too, looked up in surprise. Skipping towards them and singing cheerily was the creepiest children's show icon evaar.....Barney the Purple Dinosaur!

"We're a happy fam-i-ly, with a great big hug and a kiss from me to you!"

The Teletubbies scattered in terror. Barney growled viciously and chased after them, gnashing his teeth.

"Won't you say you love me too?"

Tsl and Drake were left shuddering violently.

***

The psychos and Jedi were all screaming bloody murder, when suddenly, the thousands of Teletubbies cried out in terror and scattered.

"Aha!" said Chicken.

"What?" asked Furday. "You know why they left?"

"Er...no," he admitted. "I was just trying to sound smart."

"Could have something to do with that big purple dinosaur chasing the herd of Tubbies away," shrugged Beeurd.

"I wonder if Tsl and Drake are still alive," mused Mara.

Just then, Drake and Tsl dashed over to the rest of the Psychoes.

"We have to get out of here now!" shouted Drake. "When that thing's done feeding, it may come for us!" He pointed over to where Barney had captured one of the little red Teletubbies and was ripping shreds of flesh off it's screaming, squirming body.

"That, or the herd will return!" said Tsl.

"But are we ready to leave Creepy Land?" asked Ender.

"I'm not sure," replied Tsl, "But I think we only came here to get Nomi, and seeing as how Nomi is been turned into lunchmeat--"

Prin let out a half strangled wail and then went back to staring numbly at the ground.

"--I don't think we need to stay any longer..." she finished.

"Yeah!" said Rogue. "We need to finish this story! We're running out of time!"

"So, how do we get out of here?" asked Beeurd.

Rogue picked up a JC Penny's bag. "With these!" She cheerfully went around, distributing ruby red slippers to all the Psychos and the Jedi.

"Er..." said Beeurd holding the sparkly slippers at arm's length. "I have to wear these?"

"Yes!" said Rogue. "Everybody has to. It's the only way to leave this place. We all wear the shoes, click our heels together three times, and say 'There's no place like Star Wars''."

And so everyone put on the shoes, even Furday, who had been supplied with giant wookiee sized shoes. The guys all milled about sheepishly, except for Fett who seemed to enjoy prancing around in his new shoes.

"I'm keeping these!" he said cheerily.

"I'm burning them, " muttered Drake.

"I dunno....they're kinda hot," said Tsl. Drake merely glared at her.

"Okay everybody! One, two, three.... " prompted Rogue.

Everyone clicked their heels together en masse and chanted, "There's no place like Star Wars! There's no place like Star Wars!"

And then the post ended without specifying whether or not they actually exited Creepy Land, mostly in order to cover Sarah's ass in case somebody wasn't ready to leave yet. :p

[Princess 35]

Prin shrieked one more time and lunged forward to grab Nomi's BBQ carcass as the Psychos finished clciking their ruby heels together. There was a moment of blurriness and the Psychos were in the Emerald City.

"Where are we," Fett asked, oblivious to the fact that he was now wearing a blue gingham dress and had braids.

"It's a horse of a different color!" TSL exclaimed.

"We're in the Emerald City," Mara said.

Prin screamed in joy. "The Wizard can bring Nomi back to life!!!!!!"

The rest of the Psychos groaned and tried to stop Prin, but she made it to the Wizard's door and knocked loudly. The door slowly opened and they Psychos crept forward the main chamber.

"Who comes to see the Great and Powerful Schnoz!"

"Schnoz? I thought that you were the Wizard of Oz." Drake commented.

"No, Oz is copyrighted so you get the Wizard of Schnoz."

"Oh, well can you help us great and powerful Wizard?"

"What is your wish?"

Prin stepped forward. "Oh great and powerful Schnoz, I am in need of your aid. My baby was BBq'd and we need him alive to defeat the Yuzzhan Vong and restore peace to the galaxy."

"Hmmmm." The Schnoz pondered this point as some emerald green slime fell down onto the floor in front of the Psychos.

"Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww," came the collective groan.

"I have made my decision," proclaimed the Schnoz. "I will bring Nomi back to life, on one condition. You must bring me the nose of Darth Bozo, for I need a decoration for mine. Now go."

The Psychos cowered for a moment and the Schnoz boomed again, "I said go!"

Furday quivered and ran down the hallway and jumped out the window. TSL shook her head and grabbed the medkit to patch him back up. The rest of the Psychos started down the path to the red light district.

********************************

Hours later...

Drake turned down the 50th hooker that he'd seen and finally they reached a hidden door. He took a deep breath and knocked three times. The door slowly opened and they heard Leia call out "Enter..."

[Drake 53]

The Psychos and Jedi enter the chambers of Darth Bozo. Leia is on Bozo's lap stroking his enormous....ego.

"Mmm. You're so naughty...I like that." Leia purred as she nibbled on Luke's ear.

"UNCLE LUKE!? AUNT LEIA!?" The Solo twins gasped in horror, turned white and began vomiting.

Luke rolled his eyes. "Oh please. I just had the stains removed from the carpet from when your three Sith were here last!"

"Yeah, don't remind us..." Beeurd said as he held his groaning stomach.

"Why have you come?" Asked Bozo.

"Hehehe...come." Giggled Leia.

"Oh God..." Drake groaned. "We've come here for your head, Bozo!"

Luke shrugged. "Okay. Let me get it out for you." He reached down...

"OH FORCE NO!" All the Psychos and Jedi cried.

"No!" said Drake. "Your head head...not that head. We've come to kill you!"

"Either that or convince you to change back to the light side and make everything normal again." Rogue suggested.

"Nevaar! I'll never change back to the weak little wuss that I was...and you can have my head over my dead body!" Luke shouted. By now, Leia had slipped from his lap and was now hiding behind his throne.

"So be it...Bozo." Drake ignited his lightsaber. The rest of the Psychos, who carried lightsabers, followed suit. The Jedi looked at one another nervously, not wanting to fight their old master.

Luke let out a sharp whistle. In a heartbeat, two dozen evil-looking clowns appeared out of hidden entrances in the wall. They all activated their own lightsabers and advanced toward the Psychos.

Darth Bozo cackled and activated his own saber. "Let's do it!"

"Not literally, I hope." Tsl said through gritted teeth.

And then they got it on......The battle, that is.

[Ender 8]

Ender ignited his lightsabers and leaped at one of the clowns, who was making animals out of balloons.

"I have you now!" Ender cackled.

Suddenly, all the balloon animals came alive, and jumped at Ender, snarling and snapping their teeth.

"I didnt see that one coming..." Ender said.

Ender decapitated a duck with one saber, then ran a dog through with the other. He glanced over to where Drake and Tsl were fighting off an 8-foot tall giraffe with poisoned fangs.

The battle continued, with the evil clowns finally joining the battle. The balloon animals were soon cut to ribbons, and the clowns followed soon after that.

Ender finished off the last clown, then looked up to Darth Bozo, who was being stroked by Leia again.

Suddenly, Tsl screamed and started shaking her leg all around. A small dog with ribbons braided into its ears was attached to her leg, doing that annoying little growl.

Bozo cackled. "Good dog, Chewbacca!"

"Chewie?!! " the Psychos said in unison.

"Indeed, Chewie."

And an earsplitting cackle filled the chamber.

[GreenEagle2005 0]

"Come our master needs us." Guy said.

Alys just stared at him then followed him. PErhaps she could find away out. After climbing a dizzing flight of stairs, THey came out into a room with sith dressed as clowns, Luke skywalker, and Liea and a whole buch of other peoples. SHe listened in a somewhat amused, then disgusted manner.

"Let's go."

Alys followed in meekly. Guy lit his lightsaber.

"Master. We came." was all he said.

"No you came." Alys retorted back. Everyone looked at her.

"I have no bloody idea how I got here. But I sure as heck do know that this is not Star Wars. And would SOMEONE MIND EXPLAINING WHAT THE SITH IS GOING ON HERE?" She said, finally fed up.

"How many times-" Guy stopped as she lit her lightsaber under his nose.

"Shut up, dimwit."

[Princess 35]

TSL picked up Chewie. "What a cute lil puppy!!! You gonna come with mommy and I'm gonna love you and hug you and kiss you and pet you and..."

Drake looked jealous of all the attention that TSL was giving Chewie. Then he gasped in shock. "I remember," he exclaimed.

"What do you remember," Furday asked.

"How to defect Darth Bozo and get us his nose to take back to the Schnoz. This is a cheap parody of the Wizard of Oz after all. Someone give me a bucket of water."

Greagle, looking ever so slightly confused walked forward and handed Drake a bucket of water. Drake cackled evil and threw the bucket of water at Darth Bozo. The makeup came sluicing down off of him.

"I'm cleaaaaaaaaan! I'm cleeeeeeeeeeeeean! Oh what a world what a world!" Luke cried like a puny lil Jedi as Prin jumped on his nose.

"I got it!" Prin exclaimed gleefully. "Now we can go back to the Wizard and give him the nose and he can bring Nomi back to life and then we can leave to get to Zonoma Sekot!"

Luke, Leia and Han looked surprised. Han especially at his outfit. It seemed that the Death of Darth Bozo had returned them to normal. TSL moaned, she was trapped under Chewie. Drake dragged her out. "And just what are we going to do with these puny Jedi?"

"Take them with us of course. We need them at Zonoma Sekot. Don't you remember anything about The Unifying Force?" Drake shot her a look. "Oops, I forgot, not supposed to mention stuff like that."

"Geeze Prin, get with the show," Beeurd commented.

"Let's get out of here," whined Chicken.

"That's the smartest thing that you've said all story long," Janson commented. Chicken looked hurt and went to sulk in the corner.

"Come on guys! Let's go!" Prin started skipping and singing something about seeing the Wizard of Schnoz. The rest of the group groaned and followed her.

***********************************************************

"Yay! Now I can dress up for Halloween," the Great and Powerful Schnoz exclaimed.

"Please, oh Great and Powerful Schnoz, we brought you the nose, please bring my baby/brother back to life." Prin laid Nomi's BBQ'd carcass out in front of the Schnoz. The Schnoz dribbled some snot onto Nomi's carcass and slowly he came back to life. Prin squealed with glee as the Psycho's groaned. Nomi jumped into Prin's arms and she hugged him tight.

"Ok, now that the demon child is reincarnated once again, can we please get to Zonoma Sekot," Drake asked.

"Sure," Han replied. "We can take the Falcon and be there in no time at all."

[GreenEagle2005 0]

Alys had, after her rare display of temper been ignored. Which in the story of her life was nothing new. She scowled as she watched everyone wander out. Well she had nothing else to do, so she followed them. And promptly got lost.

She sighed. Typical me.

She replayed the conversation that she'd overheard. With a grin she headed for the spaceport.

Zenoma Sekot here she came!!

------------

Spaceport

------------

"Look, kid. I don't take charity cases." the gruff looking pilot said. He was the fourth person she talked to.

Forcing herself to be polite, Alys wandered off. Once out of earshot, she said some choice words that are best not put to print in the story.

Walking around the spaceport for what seemed like the millionth time, Alys paused and noticed a very familiar ship. The Falcon. She grinned and looking around headed for the ship. Maybe someone would come here and then she could see about gettin' a lift out of here.

[Roethlisberger 0]

The Psychoes headed over to the Falcon and Han motioned them to enter.

"Wow," Drake said. "What a piece of junk!"

The Falcon left the planet and headed for Zonama Sekot, which was a problem, because Han didn't know where Zonama Sekot was.

"You sure you know where you're going?" Fett asked.

"Oh yeah, I'm sure." Han assured

"I think we should ask for directions," Leia suggested.

"Never tell me to ask for directions!" Han yelled.

The Falcon trudged on, and, unsuprisingly, the Falcon's hyperdrive busted.

"What a piece of junk!" All the Psychos said in unison

"It's not a piece of junk!" Han exclaimed.

As soon as he said that, the Falcon went on a tailspin and crash landed on a nearby planet.

"I meant to do that!" Han lied.

Anyway, the Psychos were all stranded on a desert planet with no food water or anything like that.

"We've got no food!" Drake exclaimed.

"Why don't we find some then?" beeurd suggested.

The Psychos all started to look for food, muttering as they walked.

"Water... water." Prin moaned.

"Need...halo!" Drake and Ender both complained as they walked.

"Jet pack fuel...must have Jet Pack Fuel." Fett decided.

"Must restore throne of England" Chicken quite randomly added. Chicken then tried on the nose that he stole from Michael Jackson back in Creepyland.

After that cheap, blatant, Spaceballs ripoff, all the Psychos passed out. And then, in another Spaceballs ripoff, they were discovered by a rapid pack of Reality Television hosts, who lead them to a cave. And for the record 2nd Wizard of Oz parody in the past day, all the Psychos linked arms.

"Survivor, Apprentice and Big Brother, oh my!" Tsl started and all the other Psychos followed suit.

Then, the Psychos heared a booming voice.

"WHO DARES DISTURB THE ALL POWERFUL... Mel Brooks!"

All the Psychos passed out again. Meanwhile, Han and Leia fixed the Falcon and now have forgotten everything that happened to them in the past however long ago they ran into the Psychos.

[Tsl 7]

Drake blinked in surprise. "How'd we end up on a desert planet in the prescene of the Great and Powerful Mel Brooks?"

"Han crashed us here...and we passed out alot...and sang a bit....and now we're here," shrugged Beeurd. He floated over and began poking the Reality Television hosts that were milling about.

Meanwhile, Mel Brooks was pouting because no one was paying attention to him. "Look at me! Look at me!" He jumped up and down and pointed to himself. "I'm Mel Brooks! LOOK AT MEEEE!" He proceeded to do a rather impressive handstand.

"Look," said Prin with mild interest. "That funny little man is doing a handstand!"

A kick line made up of shapely women in Nazi uniforms formed up behind Mel. He began singing "Springtime for Hitler" while doing gymnastic flips over the dancing Nazi-girl's heads. The Psychoes watched for a few moments and quickly lost interest.

"Sooo..." said Drake. "We need to move on. There's only three weeks left, and as acting commander, it's my job to get your butts in gear!"

"Wait!" shouted Rogue. "Since when are you 'acting commander'?"

"Since you quit showing up," he replied evenly.

"I--? Huh?" Rogue looked down at herself and noted that she was indeed still present. She suddenly felt very dizzy and confused and sat down on the floor. One of the dancing Nazi-girls handed her a glass of water. "Thanks..." she mumbled as the girl returned to the kick line.

"What exactly is it we need to do?" asked Tsl.

"We need to get to Zonoma Sekot, apparently," said Beeurd.

Tsl scribbled this down on a bit of paper. "Okay, I'll keep a list. What else?"

"We need to tie up loose ends and hanging plotlines," suggested Furday.

Tsl added that to the list.

"We need to pwn the Vong!" said Ender, as he stroked his AK-47. He was conflicted. He wanted to shoot the facist Nazi-girls, but they were too sexy to die in his opinion.

Fett was clapping merrily and singing along with the song. "This will make it great on Broadway!" he said.

A fat, red-faced man rushed out onto the stage. "NO! It won't! Quit enjoying this production IMMEDIATELY!"

Unfortunately for the unlucky producer, Fett only began enjoying the show all the more.

"Could we quit with the "The Producers" referrences and get on with fixing the story!?" asked Drake in an irritated fashion. "Right, here's the deal. First, we go to Zonoma Sekot. We need to find Han and Leia and--"

Just then, the Falcon lifted off and zipped off into the sky.

"Drake!" exclaimed Tsl. "The Falcon matches the description of the ship that just blasted out of here!"

"What a sorry attempt at using a movie quote!" replied Drake as Tsl hung her head in shame. "Alright, so we've lost our transport...now what?"

"I can just float over on a metaphysical plane of existance in the blink of a mortal eye," said Beeurd in a creepy Angel of Death type voice.

"Aha! That's it!" exclaimed Drake, startling everyone. "We'll use a Plothole!"

"But...that's Purges! There are only four purgers here....what about the rest of the Psychoes?" said Tsl.

"We'll combine our Purger BigShotly powers and hold the Plothole open long enough to allow them all to pass!" said Drake confidently.

"I don't know, love.... What happens if we fail?"

"Then...those on the Zonoma Sekot side will be fine, those on this side will be stranded here forever, and those in between will forever be lost souls trapped in the inexplicable tortures of a non-existance for all eternity!" he cackled.

"Sounds like fun! Let's do it...but, let's not let the non-Purgers in on the risks of Plothole travel, okay? It'll be more fun if they do get trapped and are completely caught offguard by the sudden soul-rendering tortures they experience."

Drake was unable to contain a second cackle. Tsl joined him. The other psychoes looked around uncertainly, not sure they really wanted to know what was on the two Sith's minds.

"Alright, listen up!" said Drake in his most imperious voice. "We have a brilliant plan designed to get us all to Zonoma Sekot in seconds flat!"

"Yay!" shouted the assembled Psychoes and their Jedi companions.

"We shall open a portal known affectionately as a Plothole, a tear in the time/plot continuum, which will allow us all to suddenly and instantaneously appear on the surface of Zonoma Sekot without having to bother with continuity or storylines or anything sensible like that."

"Yay!" shouted the assembled Psychoes and Jedi.

"Now there are only two Bigshots amongst us with the power to open such Plotholes, Tsl and I. For Plotholes are a Purges invention and we are Purgers, along with Beeurd and Ender."

"Why can't Beeurd and Ender open Plotholes too then?" asked Prin.

"Because they are insignificant peons," said Drake. He ignored the looks of death Beeurd and Ender shot him. "Now, once we open the Plothole, we will have mere seconds to get everyone through, so you have to run in and out quick like bunnies, k?"

"Like bunnies?" Rogue raised an eyebrow.

"Like bunnies," nodded Drake. "Right....now....1....2......3!"

On "3" a giant, glowing, undulating, mass of green glowy light formed in the air between Drake and Tsl. The light hung suspended and seemed to take on a consistancy almost like that of molten lava, yet thinner somehow and without substance. The mass slowly stretched, flatened, and oozed itself into a flat, circular shape. Great arcs of blue electricity crackled and ran around the edges of the circle and suddenly the entire room was filled with alot of wind.

Startled, Mel Brooks and his Nazi girls ran away. The Purgers, however, quickly formed a line and began entering the impressive Plothole.

First were Ender and Beeurd. Being Purgers themselves, they had more experience with Plotholes and had no trepidation in passing through one. Next came the rest of the Psychoes. Furday hopped through in a bunny-like fashion, much to Drake's annoyance. The Jedi were next to pass through. Tsl couldn't be sure, but she thought she might have seen Jacen wet himself just before running into the Plothole. Finally, Drake and Tsl joined hands and jumped into the Plothole.

On the other side, being Zonoma Sekot, of course, Drake and Tsl landed atop a massive pile of Psychoes and Jedi.

"Whee!" said Tsl.

Drake picked himself up, dusted himself off, and with an evil grin, asked Jacen to go back through the plothole and get something he'd accidently left behind. Jacen, who did indeed have a big wet spot on his pants, was looking to redeem himself and jumped back into the plothole without a second thought. Drake gleefully shut it down just as Jacen was in the "in-between".

Drake and Tsl giggled.

"What?" asked Jaina. "Where'd my brother go?"

Drake and Tsl merely giggled more.

Jaina shrugged and forgot about it.

"So," said Furday, looking around. "This is Zonoma Sekot... I wonder if there are any hot chicks here?"

[Drake 53]

The rest of the Psychos got up and looked around. They were standing in a large field that was surrounded by trees...

"They're actually called boras."

Everyone looked at Chicken curiously.

Chicken shrugged, "What? I was correcting the Narrator on his facts. Zonama Sekot doesn't have trees. It has boras."

Chicken then proceeded to dance around in a tutu while singing "I'm So Pretty" and picking his nose. Everyone laughed at him.

"Don't make me write you out of the story!" Drake shouted to me, the Narrator.

Chicken quickly returned to normal. Everyone continued to laugh at him, though.

"Okay" started Drake, "Whoever thought up the idea to come to Zonama Sekot, tell us what the heck we're doing here."

No one had a chance to answer as they were quickly surrounded by a group of Sekotans that appeared out of nowhere. They were brandishing some primitive-looking weapons and muttering things.

Suddenly, another plothole opened and Bane stepped through, along with YVH 1-1A and the other Vong Hunter droids.

The Sekotans gasped and began bowing to the droids.

"What the stang are they doing?" asked Beeurd.

Prin shrugged, "Beats me. I'm too lazy to care."

Drake looked to Bane, "Do you understand what they're saying?"

"Of course, Master. I am fluent in over six million forms of communication."

"Well, what are they saying?" Drake asked impatiently.

"'Hello', I think. Or they might be saying 'Pickle weasel'...I'm not sure. Why would they call me a pickle weasel? Besides that, I'm definately getting the vibe that they think I'm some sort of god. Or that could be dog...whatever."

"Well, why don't you use your divine, canine influence and get us out of this?" asked Tsl.

"I beg your pardon, Lady Tsl, but that just wouldn't be proper" replied Bane.

"Proper!?" Tsl shouted. "You're a freakin war droid for crying out loud, in the rain, and over spilled blue milk...not a protocol droid!"

"Exactly. That's why it wouldn't be proper. It's against my programming to impersonate a deity."

"Well then, what would your programming allow for in this kind of situation?" asked Beeurd.

"Simple." Bane opened fire on the Sekotans. The rest of the war droids joined in and soon all of the aliens were dead. "Pwned! i r l337!"

"Good job Bane." Said Drake, "But now Sekot is going to be pissed at us."

Just then the sky got dark and the ground began to shake violently.

Bane nodded. "Seeya later then." He then opened a plothole and escaped through it with the other droids.

"Ah crap..." said all of the Psychos at once.

[Princess 35]

Sekot was shaking wildly. Jaina whimpered and cried for her mommy. The Psychos were all clinging to each other.

"We've got to do something," Drake shouted.

"I know," Beeurd shouted back. "We need to do something so insane that people rememeber that we are the Psychopathic Jedi and we don't follow things like plots, characters, laws of physics, canon and live life the Psycho way. We must do the unexpected and forget what we're supposed to do. We need to return to our roots and things like Diskworld, torturing Mirax Horn, Jedi John and the Punkin Rocksters, and LUKE AND THE METAL BIKINI!"

Pod shuddered and was violently ill in some nearby bushes. The rest of the Psycho's cheered. Furday stepped forward, "So Beeurd, how then do we do this?"

"Um, I dunno, I haven't got that far yet."

"Well, I've got an idea," Prin suggested. "We should just do everything that we're not supposed to do. Anakin was supposed to die, and we saved his life, but we're being so serious. This is supposed to be a COMEDY! Let's do this in style!"

Drake was sitting in a corner cackling happily and scribbling on a note pad. All of the sudden the shaking stopped and Luke Skywalker appeared on a table dressed as Barney and singing the "I love you" song. Everyone screamed in horror. Then they stopped as they realized that the shaking earlier wasn't an earthquake, it was a Worldship, and it had landed on Zonoma Sekot.

[Andy 60]

Beeurd screamed.

"Geez, Beeurd," Drake said, "that was a very girlish scream there..."

"Shut up..." Beeurd said, with urgency! "That's Shimmra's ship!"

Just then Shimrra leapt from the ship, did a spectacular piroutte, jumped in the air and did the splits as he landed on the ground. Most of the Psycho's winced at the thought of that pain.

"Look!" Shimrra cried with glee, "it's The Chosen One! The Beeurd!"

"Umm... What?" said Prin, confusededly.

"Long story." said Beeurd.

"Make it short." said Tsl.

"They think I'm their Chosen One." Beeurd said bluntly.

"Slightly longer, maybe?" asked Prin.

"Basically they had this prophecy and I fulfilled it."

"You're not helping very much." Prin said.

"Well, soooooooooory!" Beeurd wailed, "Just go look back to almost the beginning of the story, before I met up with most of the Psychos at Yavin 4."

"Ah, okay." Prin and some of the others reached for their datapads, and looked up that part of the story. A few minutes later they were all up to date.

Just then, Harrar spun out of the ship, and tripped over a leaf. Shimrra roared with psychotic laughter, as Onimi decided to do one of his stupid little rhymes.

"Ballet lessons they did take," Onimi recited,

"But the galactic stage they will not make,

for they are Yuuzhan Vong so silly,

and spend their time playing with their--"

"Enough!" Shimrra snapped. "I told you not to tell anybody about that!" Shimrra had gone quite red.

Harrar stood and dusted himself off before he spoke. "At last the prophecy is ended!"

"Huh?" Beeurd was confused. "Does that mean you'll stop following me around the galaxy?"

"It certainly does!" Shimrra said, "You have lead us to the new Yuuzhan'tar!"

"Oh, great." Rogue sighed. All this, and her Steadfast Officer leads the Vong right to Zonama Sekot!

"Of course, we have to kill you all now." Shimrra said, matter-of-factly. "Begin Vong-forming, and attack with all our armies!"

"Errr..." Harrar shifted uneasily, and looked down at the ground.

"What?" Shimrra questioned. "Damn! We forgot to bring the army with us again, didn't we?"

Harrar and Onimi both nodded.

"Oh well, never mind, you two kill them, I'll wait here." Shimrra pushed the two unwilling volunteers over towards the Psychos.

Drake and Tsl grinned at them as they walked over.

"Err... Hi?" said Harrar.

The Psychos all jumped at the two Vong, and beat/chopped/fried them to death. When it was over, about 37 seconds later, they kicked the lifeless corpses back over to Shimrra.

Shimrra looked down at the dead bodies of Harrar and Onimi. "You're fired! Both of you! Get out of my sight!" When the corpses stayed montionless, like all good dead bodies do, he continued. "Geez, disobedient to the last."

"Umm. They're dead." Drake informed the Supreme Overlord.

"Curses!" Shimrra cursed. "I'll be back with my army in a few days time... Stay here!"

Shimrra ran back on board his ship and flew back to wherever the hell he came from.

"Phew, that was close!" Beeurd said.

"Well, we've bought ourselves a little time, anyways." Rogue said.

"Beeurd," Anakin said, "How come you never mention us Jedi in your posts?"

"Geez, Anakin," Beeurd replied, "I just did, now go annoy someone else..."

[Drake 53]

Anakin skipped off and started chatting with a rock. "Hi! Nice to meet you. What's your name? I'm Anakin! How are you? I'm fine. Having a good day? I sure am!"

"Shut up!" shouted the rock.

"Why!? I thought we were friends!" Anakin whined.

"Pfft! You're looney."

"Yeah...well...you're a rock! So there!" Anakin stuck out his tongue.

"No I'm not. I'm a planet!" replied the rock.

"But I'm looking right at you! You're clearly a rock!"

"Looks can be deceiving...especially to one as young and foolish as you." The owner of the voice stepped out from behind the rock. It appeared to be a strange bird of some kind.

The rest of the Psychos and Jedi took notice and gathered around.

Jaina gasped. "Vergere? Is that you?"

"Nope. I'm Sekot. Mind of the planet and all that good stuff."

"Then why do you look like a bird?" asked Drake.

"I can take whatever form I wish. See?" Sekot then transformed from the image of Vergere to that of Jar Jar Binks.

"AHHH!!" All of the Psychos reeled in pain.

Sekot transformed into Optimus Prime.

"Yay!" said Beeurd.

"Sekotius Prime...optimize!" Then Sekot transformed into a giant cheese string.

"Mmm...cheeze..." drooled CorSec.

Sekot transformed once more into a young Sekotan girl.

"Why a little girl?" asked Beeurd.

"Because, in all those sci-fi movies and TV shows, the powerful alien entities usually take on the personifications of little girls. It makes it creepy like that."

"Oh, I see." Beeurd nodded.

"Why are you here?" asked Drake, while attempting to block Sekot's view of the dead Sekotans.

Sekot giggled. "I was about to ask you the same thing. Oh yeah, I know about the dead Sekotans. I don't care. Actually, they're kinda getting annoying anyway so it doesn't matter. Hee hee."

"Well...yay!" said Drake. Then he kicked one of the corpses.

((Can't think of anything else...someone else can go))

[CorSec 5]

"So I says to Mabel... I says: Hey! That's not a van, that's my son!" CorSec exclaimed.

The others stared blankly.

"That's not a van, that's my son!........" CorSec re-explained.

He was met with several more blank stares and a murmur of discontent.

"That's not a ...van, that's my...err... son!........" CorSec continued. "Alright. I'm sorry. I uhh...Bad headache. Or something."

The assembled group turned back to their tasks at hand, and CorSec retreated back into the darkness of the corner.

((I'm back ))

[Ender 8]

Suddenly, 68.6 Vong ships landed, and out burst thousands of Vong soldiers...

Well, you couldnt really call it bursting. They sort of stumbled out, most of them tripping and sticking themselves on their own amphistaffs.

"Whats wrong with them?" Anakin asked. "They look like they're sick."

"Oh no... they're not sick. They're... high." Ender said.

"That sounds fun! Can we be high too?" Anakin asked, pointing to the rest of the Jedi, who were nodding eagerly.

"Sure! Hold on a sec!" Ender said, then walked over to a Vong warrior who was barely standing.

"Hey, dude, do you have any more of that stuff?" Ender asked.

The Vong smiled. "Sure, man, help yourself."

So Ender ran into the ship, and came out with a box of joints, which he tossed to the Jedi.

"Have fun, ladies." Ender said, cackling.

Soon, the Jedi were all stoned.

[CorSec 5]

From his dark corner, CorSec pondered. It didn't last long, so he began to perform tests on how long he could hold his breath. It was during the seventh attempt, as the darkness began to creep around his vision, that he realized this probably wasn't one of his most intelligible endeavours.

---

Awaking several hours later, he opened his mouth and gasped for air. Surveying his surroundings, he found he was on a vessel of some sort. An air of familiarity wafted its way towards him. Instinctively, he drew his Beaver Sabre and ignited it, the shimmering blade glowing faintly in the dim lighting. A faint chuckle could be heard all around, as if the culprit was within the walls themselves.

"Who's there?" mumbled CorSec. He was met with silence.

"I said.... who?s there?! I've got a beaver saber here. I'm not afraid to use it. I swear!" CorSec exclaimed. This time his comment drew more muffled laughter, like that of a group of schoolgirls, trying to regain composure.

A voice pierced the air. CorSec spun, "You cannot hide forever CorSec"

There, standing three feet away, was Darth EU Continuity Error. His father. CorSec trembled with fear and slowly began to move away.

"I will not fight you", said CorSec.

The Darth let out a laugh. "Sell your likeness to our Dark Side, CorSec. We will commercialize you as a new action figure, and re-insert your face over Mark Hamils throughout the original trilogy in a perverse warp of my master?s original masterpiece. It is the only way to save your friends. Yes, your thoughts betray you. Your feelings for them are not nearly as strong as they should be. Especially for...", a pause. "Your brother. Yes, your twin brother." replied Darth.

CorSec stopped, clueless, "Who?"

Darth explained, "Your brother. You remember him. He's a chimpanzee. Escaped from the Coruscant Zoo. He pilots X-wings through the use of mechanical arm and leg extensions."

"I'm related to a monkey!?" exclaimed CorSec, a look of horror on his face.

"Not just that. I AM A MONKEY", replied Darth EU Continuity Error, as he tore the face mask off his head and revealed his chimpanzee self.

"Nevaaar!", cried CorSec. But before he could leap towards his monkey father in a fit of rage, he tripped.

Darth EU Continuity Error, in his own fit of mad monkey rage, leapt over the fallen form of CorSec and impaled himself on an oddly placed elevator control.

CorSec stood and looked around to see if anyone had observed the incident. "Somewhat anti-climatic."

He turned at the sound of more girlish laughter, and was not surprised to find Emperor Lucas standing on a catwalk above him.

"Good. Your clumsiness has made you powerful. Now fulfill your destiny and become my monkey slave at my side."

CorSec's expression was blank, "Monkeys? Why monkeys anyway?"

Lucas explained, "Monkeys have very little independent thought, but when rubbed the right way, they can be used for my own commercial purposes. They also work for very cheap. Have you ever heard the theory about thousands of monkeys typing aimlessly for thousands of years, and how they will eventually reproduce Shakespeare?"

CorSec looked confused, "Yes."

"How do you think the Prequels were written?" Lucas replied.

CorSec froze. It was so obvious. Why hadn't he thought of it before?

Lucas continued, "Now join me, or be destroyed."

CorSec looked adamant. "I'll never turn. You've failed your Highness. I am a Jedi-Monkey, like my father before me.", he replied.

"So be it...Jedi", Lucas paused "...Monkey"

Just as Lucas drew his fingers to send lances of lightning into CorSec, he blacked out.

---

Awaking several hours later, he found himself in a bed. A nice soft bed.

"A dream. It was all a crazy dream. I'm not a monkey, and neither is my father." he let out a sigh of relief.

He got out of the bed and walked over towards a mirror on the wall, at which point he noticed the fur covering his body. He let out a wail. Sticks wandered from another room.

"Something wrong?" said Sticks.

CorSec turned, and noticing Sticks was also a monkey, he let out another string of screams.

---

He awoke again. This time in his dark corner. He quickly checked for fur, and seeing none, he was satisfied.

"Whoo...close one." muttered CorSec, as he went back to holding his breath for inordinate amounts of time.

[Roethlisberger 0]

Ender had just brought the Jedi joints and they had all gotten high. When the Jedi got to the 3rd joints, they were really high. They were already singing "Smoke on the Water"

"Smoke on the water

And Fire in the sky!

Smoke on the water!

Doo-doo-doo

Doo-doo-Da-doo

Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo"

The Vong and the Jedi were soon all holding hands and singing Kumbaya by a fire.

"See what you did Ender?" Fett said. "You've caused togetherness."

"Hell no!" Exclaimed Ender and he took all the joints away from the Jedi and Vong. And he gave them to the Psychos

"Dude," Anakin figured, "I see dead people."

"Wonderful," Drake said.

"Ok, they're high as the sky now," Tsl said. "Now what."

"We can recreate Woodstock," Fett suggested.

"We can hold our breath," Corsec suggested.

"I like eggs," concluded Furday, who obviously had not been paying attention.

Then the Psychos all started singing "Because I Got High."

Out of ideas

Edited October 31, 2004 by Mr Mojo Risin

[Tsl 7]

Drake prodded Tsl and whispered in her ear, "Hey, since all the Vong are high, let's just kill them and be done with this war!"

Tsl nodded enthusiastically and passed the whispered message along to Prin. "Psst! Hey, Prin! Since all the Vong are nigh, let's just kill them and phone the czar!"

"Splendiferous idea!" exclaimed Prin, who then whispered to Rogue. "Hey, since the all the Vong have knees, let's tickle them and pwn the car!"

The message continued to be passed from Psycho to Psycho in this manner...

"Hey, since all the Vong sneeze, let's pickle them and vote for Mars!"

"Hey, since all the Vong are diseased, let's nuke them and go to bars!"

"Hey, since all the Vong love trees, let's puke on them really hard!"

And so on and so forth, until the mixed up message finally reached Beeurd, who gave the others an odd look and repeated aloud, "You want to hold the bong high and watch reruns of Cheers?"

The Psychoes all looked at one another confused, for this is not what they heard.

"No!" said Furday, "I'm sure the plan involved nakedness!"

"No it didn't!" shouted Fett, "But I know it had something to do with kittens!"

"Nonsense," reasoned Mara, "It was all about saving the rainforest!"

This soon degenerated into a massive argument and then degenerated even further when Beeurd began pelting everyone else with hard boiled eggs.

"Bwaha!" he cackled insanely, as a well aimed egg bounced off Drake's forehead.

"Enough!" growled Drake. "I started the message, and I said nothing of Cheers, bars, bongs, kittens, nakedness, or rainforests!"

Everyone stopped and stared at Drake.

"What I said was: Since all the Vong are..... Wait! Where'd they all go?"

And indeed, the Vong had vanished along with their new smoking buddies, the Jedi. The Psychoes began a half hearted search for them, looking underneath small rocks and dead leaves, but the stoners were nowhere to be found.

"This is all your fault!" said Drake, pointing accusingly at Ender.

"Pfft! Whatever man....you need to be calm. Chill out....be melllloowwww...." replied Ender, who had obviously been standing too near the joint smoke.

"We need to think about this logically," said Tsl. She ignored the glares of her fellow Psychoes, unhappy for her mentioning the hated words "thinking" and "logic". "If you were a stoned Vong or Jedi, where would you be?"

"Easy," said Beeurd. "Anywhere munchies could be found.

"Indeed," nodded Tsl. "And so that poses the question: where on Sekot could a bunch of stoners find yummy munchies?"

"Well," said Drake, stroking his beard thoughtfully, "This silly world has no restaurants or convienience stores...."

"No munchies," shrugged Fett.

"Well," laughed Prin. "There is Nomi. Apparently he makes pretty good eating, eh? Haha.....ha..... Nomi?" Prin looked around and did not spot her evil demon child anywhere. "Nomi?!"

"Oh Force....she's lost it again," said Drake.

"Last I saw him, he was chewing on Tsl's ankle," offered Beeurd.

"Yeah, and I kicked him off in the direction of the Vong, hoping they'd slay him," said Tsl rubbing her sore and bleeding ankle.

"And I saw the stoned Vong carrying him off into the woods on a roasting spit," said Fett.

"Hehehe! Excellent!" cackled Drake.

"Nooooooo!" wailed Prin.

"Eh, it's been done..." shrugged Beeurd.

((Lol, sorry, I know it's been done.... I'm all out of ideas))

[Ender 8]

Suddenly, Ender was totally unstoned. He looked around, with no dizzyness or blurriness.

"Wha.." Ender said, a little discombobulated.

"Dude, chill out man! We just removed the pot from you!" said a voice from behind.

"Marshmallows!!!" said another voice.

Ender had only that stupid, retarted voice only in one place. He spun around to find..

Homestar, Strong Bad, and...

"Trogdor the Burninator!" Ender said.

"Indeed. We can help you, dude! We can delete the Vong!" Strong Bad said triumphantly.

Trogdor randomly set a tree on fire.

[Roethlisberger 0]

Ender catches up to the rest of the group.

"Hey," he said. "Look who I found who could help!"

"Ooh!" Exclaimed Tsl, "Lemme guess! A gerbil!"

"No," Ender said;

"Wayne Gretzky!" Drake guessed.

"Nope."

"Frank Zappa?" Fett asked.

"No."

"John Cleese?" beeurd asked,

"No."

"Wayne Gretzky?" Corsec asked.

"No."

"Wayne Gretzky." Corsec said.

"No."

"You sure?"

"Yes."

Prin, who was getting sick of this nonsense, said: "Tell us who."

"Homestar, Strong Bad and Trogdor!"

"Yay!!!" Tsl exclaimed, and she went to hug Trogdor. She came back really badly burnt.

"Wait a minute," beeurd wondered. "Didn't you use Strong Bad and Homestar in our last story?"

"Ssh!" Ender exclaimed. "They might hear you and disappear."

It was too late, Trogdor, Homestar and Strong Bad already had disappeared.

"Noooooo!" Tsl cried. "Trogdor! I barely knew ye!" Then she broke out into a song/tapdance routine about her love for Trogdor.

"That's disgusting," Prin stated.

Anyway, after Trogdor, Homestar and Strong Bad disappeared, they were replaced by Frank Zappa, a gerbil, John Cleese, and three Wayne Gretzkys.

"Yay!!!" Exclaimed everyone but Ender.

"We will help you destroy the Vong with our amazing Guitar playing/hockey playing/Flesh wound/gerbil-like powers!" Shouted Zappa.

"Yay!!!!!" Exclaimed everyone, even Ender.

"You had me had flesh wound!" Exclaimed Ender.

"You had me at gerbil," Tsl said.

"You had me at hockey," said the Canadians.

"You had me at Guitar!" Fett shouted and then pulled a guitar out of mid air and started playing "Zoot Allures," with Frank.

Then the Psychos continued with finding Nomi, playing guitar and hockey, acting like gerbils and getting flesh wounds. There was no way that the Vong would ever stop the powers of Frank Zappa and friends.

"You have just destroyed one model XQJ-37 nuclear powered pansexual roto-plooker....and you're gonna have to pay for it," Frank said, rather random-like.

Edited October 31, 2004 by Mr Mojo Risin

[Andy 60]

i shuld post, but id probably wreck evryfung.

[Princess 35]

Prin grabbed the datapad from Fett, sat on a nearby tree stump and started scribbling furiously.

**************************************

Nomi was tired. He'd managed to escape from being eaten by the stoned Vong after TSL wouldn't let him gnaw on her ankle anymore and kicked him away. He was wandering through the woods now, looking for a place to stay until he could find his mommy again. He felt so misunderstood. It wasn't his fault that he was half Yuzzhan Vong and half human. Nor was it his fault that he couldn't control his appetite so he had to eat everything that he set his eyes on. Soon Nomi found a tree that would suit his purposes. He grabbed some moss and climbed up almost to the top of the tree and made himself a bed. Soon he was fast asleep and dreaming.

Nomi was in the middle of a field, surrounded by hacked up droids that he was slicing apart with the lightsaber that was in his hand. He felt conflicted. The lightsaber was a machine, well not totally a machine since the crystal was a lambent, and he wasn't supposed to use machines. Yet, with the Force flowing through him it felt so natural. He sliced down droid after droid until a strange fog settled over the field and he had to reach out further with the Force. C-3PO wandered into Nomi's reach. "Hello Master Nomi. I am C-3PO, human cyborg ARG!" That was as far as C-3PO got, Nomi slashed him to pieces.

Another small creature came forward, it took Nomi a few seconds to recognize the small creature. It was Master Yoda!

"Away with your weapon, I mean you no harm!"

Nomi deactivated his lightsaber. "What do you want of me Master?"

"Your destiny you must face. Face your Father you must."

"But why must I face my destiny?"

"Jedi you must become. Like your mother before you."

"I don't want to become a Jedaai."

"It is your destiny. Accept it you must. Reach out with the Force. True you know it to be. You must become a ahhh! Off of me you get, demon child!" Nomi had enough and takled Yoda. WIth a quick bash, Yoda was knocked out cold. Nomi loked about the field and saw a pile of wood, using his lightsaber he ignited a fire and was soon BBQing Yoda. Mmmmmmmm, Jedaai were good for one thing at least.

********************************

Prin was tracking Nomi with the Force. She thanked the Force daily, and everytime that she lost him, that he had some connection to the Force. Opening herself fully to the Force, Prin eventually found the tree that Nomi had made his bed in. Glancing up, she saw that he had chosen to make his bed at the top of the tree. After exhausting curses in the 10 languages that she knew, Prin started climbing up the tree. Eventually she made it to where Nomi was sleeping, and she gently picked him up. "It's ok, Mommy's here. I won't let anything happen to you."

Prin held him close and then shifted so that she could hold him and climb down the tree. Nomi snuggled close and Prin felt at peace for the first time since she'd realized that she'd lost him, again. Nomi was getting heavy in her arms and she shifted a little and lost her grip on him. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!"

Looking down, Prin saw Nomi tumble and get snatched by a strange pair of hands. She sommersaulted out of the tree and landed on the ground, lightsaber drawn and ready. She saw no sign of the kidnapper except for a mask with some writing on the back. She picked it up and looked at it, it wasn't Aurebesh, but it was familiar in the back of her mind. It hit her like a ton of bricks. It was English. She carefully read what was on the back. "P-p-pee. P. Sh-sh-sherrr. Sherman! P Sherman!! 42 Wall-Wallaby Ln. Sid--Sydney! P. Sherman 42 Wallaby Ln Sydney! That's where Nomi is!! How do I get there?"

Prin sat down on a nearby treestump and realized that she should fill in the rest of the group. She pulled out the datapad and sent Drake a message. "P. Sherman 42 Wallaby Ln Sydney." Then she stared at the datapad. She knew how to get Nomi back. She started scribbling madly and suddenly everything got wavy.

*****************************************

Drake was staring at his datapad, wondering why Prin had chosen this of all times to send him an obscure message like that when everything got all wavy.

"HEY," all of the Psycho's exclaimed as everything got all wavy.

**********************

The waviness cleared up and all of the Psychos plus Frank Zappa, a gerbil, John Cleese, and three Wayne Gretzkys. Drake stepped forward. "Um, Prin, care to fill us in with what's going on?"

"Sure, we're Finding Nomi."

The Psychos, Frank Zappa, a gerbil, John Cleese and the three Wayne Gretzky's all groaned.

"Can't you ever keep him without him getting stolen for more than a day?" Tsl asked.

Prin shrugged. "It's like he's one of the Solo kids, or something. But I know where he is. We just have to find P. Sherman. 42 Wallaby Way. And we're in Sydney, Sekot. How hard can it be?"

The three Wayne Gretzky's brandished their hockey sticks as they heard cries of "Mine! Mine! Mine mine!" The gerbil rushed forward to investigate the noise. He came back and chittered wildly. Luckily, TSL, loving animals like she did, understood what they were saying. "There's a bunch of Vong over there and they're arguing over who gets to eat Nomi."

"NO," Prin shouted. "I didn't get gang raped by a bunch of Vong and become impregnated by my father to give birth to Nomi just to have someone kill him off!" She drew her lightsaber and rushed forward.

Edited November 1, 2004 by Princess

[Bad furday 57]

I, the Narrator, choose this moment to pause the story and explain some things to our audience.

"I'd luke to exclaim to our stupid audiwench ack bone that..." Furday trailed off, as I the Narrator, glanced down curiously at the datapad.

Calmly removing the mittens from my hands, I tried again.

"I'd like to explain to our studio audience back home that we have spent considerable time analysing Prin's hogging of the plot with this Nomi.....creature." said Furday, turning to the rest of the Psychos, who were suddenly sitting in rows of seats, as Holo Cams hovered around, because I, the Narrator said so.

Furday began laying out graphs and pie charts, as I began speaking.

"Now, this is sure evidence of how badly Prin wants a child. Notice how she goes into great detail in many of her posts."

The audience 'Ooohed' and ' Aaahhed' at my extreme cunning. Cunning....like a fox!

"So," snickered Furday, flipping through a Play Twi'lekk because I made him do so, " if we inconspicuously dump a large amount of credits into Prin's account, we can convince her to adopt a child of some sort....or even some sort of pet. Then, we can slay Nomi once and for all!"

I, the Narrator, approved this message.

"Not only will he be really dead, he will be most sincerely dead!" sang a group of Munchkins that had appeared on stage, courtesy of my supreme intellect and ..oh...there's a sign being held up by a member of the audience. It's telling me to stuff myself...I think. STFU? Hmmm...you humans have odd ways of communicating.

So anyway...where were we? Ah yes...

"Yay!!!!" cried the audience.

With that, I, the Narrator disappeared, making the set, and cameras disappear.

Furday went around offering the somewhat dazed audience members copies of Play Twi'lekk.

Edited November 1, 2004 by Bad ?urday

[JainaSolo;)* 0]

Blinking at the revealing of the plot by Furday, JainaSolo declined the magazine she was being offered (and then batted the copy away when Furday shoved it back at her), and tried yet again to think of something she could possibly do.

"So where will we get the credits from to help Prin out?" she asked no one in particular. "I can donate a very old and irritating cat if she needs a pet that badly..."

Still wondering more than a little bit what exactly was going on, she jumped as she heard a voice in her head.

"What the..."

"JainaSolo, you must use the Force."

she was silent for a moment. "To get...credits? Use the Force for bankrobery? Can I do that?"

"Use the Force, JainaSolo."

"But isn't that against the principles of the light side?"

"You must use the Force, JainaSolo."

"Why is this voice in my head so...redundant?"

And behind a nearby chair, Obi Wan snickered and ran off with Luke to mess up other people's heads.

JainaSolo wandered out of the conference room, pondering the cryptic message and thinking of possible ways to rob a bank with the Force.

[Princess 35]

Prin paused in her midair sommersault to yell back "I don't need a puppy!" Completing the sommersault she landed in the middle of the Vong who were playing monkey in the middle with Nomi. Prin eyed all of the Vong and snarled. "Nobody tries to eat my baby!"

By this time the rest of the Psychos, Frank Zappa, a gerbil, John Cleese, and three Wayne Gretzkys had found Prin and Furday started handing out popcorn and peanuts to everyone around. The gerbil hopped up on TSL's shoulder and started chittering incessently as TSL fed it peanuts for performing tricks.

Prin thrust and parried. The Vong were closing in on her. She reached out with the Force and felt Nomi, felt all the love that she had for her inbred demon spawn of a child and felt his confusion. The Vong were part of him, and her. Why was she trying to kill them? Suddenly an idea hit Prin like a ton of bricks and she blacked out for a minute.

When she regained consciousness Prin found that she was buried with Nomi under a ton of bricks and that the Vong were closing in, wanting to eat them both because the munchies were so strong. Prin groaned and then remembered her plan. "Furday! Feed the Vong! Mix together the peanuts and popcorn and feed it to them. It'll have the desired effect!"

Furday ran forward and poured a large pile of of popcorn and peanuts on the ground and the Vong jumped on it. Shortly they were all bloated and floating away. The Psychos all looked at Prin with a confused look on their face.

Prin pulled herself and Nomi out of the pile of bricks and paused long enough to put Nomi on a leash and attach it to her. Nomi spit, hissed and growled at Prin but she gave him a squirrel to chew on and soon he was happy. "It's simple guys, Vong are allergic to peanuts. They get all gassy and float away, soon they'll float into the vaccuum of space and explode. It's quite pretty."

TSL shrieked. "Um, a little help here guys. Seems that gerbils react funny to peanuts too."

They all turned and looked at her and saw that TSL was indeed, being sat on by a giant mutant gerbi.