Ongoing Comedy 2: When You Wish Upon a Star Wars.

[Tsl 7]

Princess, Drake, Cel, Beeurd, Furday (and whoever else is there) all rush to the top of the Great Wall of Vasselkyjellia which guards the castle from attack. They all hang over the edge of the wall watching the Shampoo Elves of Selsunblue march up some rather dangerous looking, fleshy, slippery stairs to meet them. Leading the column of Elves was none other than Chickenman.

"I bring word from Hairband, Lord of Selsunblue," he said with a bow.

"How did you manage to go from the castle with us...all the way to the great forest lands of Selsunblue, gather an army of Elves with really nice hair, and then march all the way back in that short space of time?" asked Drake. He looked rather confused and a little disturbed.

"I ran," said Chicken.

"Oh...right..." Drake sat against the wall and shook his head as though to clear it.

"Sooo...are you going to battle the evil Lice of Death with us?" asked Prin. Of all the GBers, she was the only one who had refused to let the dire situation force her into clothing.

"Umm...lemme ask." Chicken turned and formed a huddle with the Elves. "So...are we going to help them fight the evil Lice of Death?" he whispered to them. The Elves all looked at each other with fear and begin conversing and arguing quietly amongst themselves in their own tongue.

"You didn't even tell them why you brought them here?" said Cel. "You never even asked them if they were going to help? You just said 'here, let's all march to the castle!' and they followed you without even knowing why?"

"Yeah, that's pretty much what I did," he nodded.

"Oy..." Cel held her head in her hands and joined Drake in sitting against the wall, looking rather pained.

"Well, I hope they vote to fight with us," said Furday.

"They'd better," threatened Prin.

Just then, a horn sounded low and mournfully from within the fortress. A voice called out loud and clear from atop the Deeping Wall. "Hey yous guys! The Lice is comin'! They's alot of 'em!"

The GBer's and the host of Shampoo Elves all rushed to peer over the wall. Though it was afternoon on a clear, sunny day, no one was able to spot the enemy horde.

"Where the hell are they?" yelled Drake.

"The front ranks are about three yards out from the Great Wall!" came the reply from atop the Deeping Wall.

"Three yards!? Holy kriff!" cried Prin. She leaned way out over the wall, trying hard to see the enemy. Still, none could see the oncoming horde of Lice save those atop the Deeping wall.

"You'll need one of these to see them!" shouted the guard atop the Deeping Wall. With that, he hurled something down at the group.

The black, shiney object bounced off Drake's head, broke Cel's nose and finally came to a rest after hurtling into Furday's stomach.

"What is it?" asked Prin. She seemed cheerful, likely because she had recieved no serious injury.

"It's a Super-omni magnifying glass," gasped Furday. He handed the magnifying glass to Prin and then curled up in a fetal position on the ground, clutching at his stomach.

Prin shoved her way in between Tsl who was sobbing hysterically whilst clutching at her nose, and Drake who was only about half conscious and peered at the ground through the magnifying glass. "Ewww...."

"What is it?" asked Chicken.

"Lice," she said. "Thousands of lice...ick!"

"Where are they!" he asked. He waved his arms around in exasperation.

"They reached the wall!" yelled Prin.

They host of Shampoo Elves squealed in terror. A couple of them passed out.

"Why can't we see them!" screamed Chicken.

"Because lice are really small," explained Prin.

"I thod dese were giant lice," said Cel. He speech was garbled by her injured nose.

"They are! But lice are so miniscule that even giant lice are tiny."

Furday groaned at her, though whether it was because of this stunning new development or because his intestines had been smushed, no one could be certain. The Shampoo Elves, meanwhile, where eager to grab some easy glory, and immediately agreed to join in the fight. Drake muttered something about paper airplanes and stumbled around only barely conscious. Cel stood, ready to help, but slipped in the puddle of blood from her nose, hit her head on the wall, and broke her nose...more.

"Let's go stomp some Lice!!" yelled Prin. Chicken and the Shampoo Elves took up the cry.

"Let's stomp Lice! Let's stomp lice!"

They all rushed down to the ground, ready to squish the enemy. Furday, Cel, and Drake stumbled along behind them.

[Andy 60]

Shimmra ran back into the Audience Chamber with his warriors marching after him.

"Okay, infidel jeedai scum!" Shimmra cried with glee, "I'm back!"

They looked aroudn the deserted hall.

"Where did they all go?" Shimmra asked a nearby warrior.

"Uhh, I dunno," the warrior replied.

"NOT GOOD ENOUGH!!!" Shimmra screamed and picked the warrior up, snapped him in half and threw his innards at the rest of his troops.

Onimi spoke up, in one of his annoying rhymes.

"Gone the little jeedai have,

Ran away in fear.

Poor Shimmra cannot kill them now,

Because they are not here."

"Shut up..." Shimmra mumbled.

"Angry Mr Bossman gets," Onimi continued,

"When things don't go his way,

Like that time last week,

When the the Priests found out he's gay."

Onimi recieved a swift kick in the face.

"Lies! Lies I tell you!" Shimmra yelled.

* * * * *

Meanwhile, Rogue, Beeurd and the Jedi, were approaching their new home - Eclipse...

Edited April 18, 2004 by beeurd

[Bad furday 57]

Gasping for breath, Furday looked around at the battle - if one could call it that.

Prin, Chickenman, and the Elves were furiously jumping up and down on the ground, stomping as many lice as they could.

Cel was stomping and clutching her nose, while Drake leaped about like a zombie, making inarticulate noises and gesturing.

A movement caught the corner of his eye, and Furday looked up to see a small horde of lice attempting to capture a hairy mound that rose gently from the surface.

"They don't beat about the bush, do they?" asked Furday.

Everyone stopped what they were doing momentarily and groaned.

Then, they went back to stamping out the lice.

Short I know, but I just had to get back into the story!

[Mara 29]

I was forgotten!

Mara was stomping on lice with the rest of them when an epiphany hit her.

"Ow!"

Everyone looked at her.

"I was hit by an epiphany..." They all rolled their eyes. "What? I say we all link arms and dance really fast, like Riverdancers! We can kill lice three times as fast, I calculate."

The rest looked dubious, until one of them (I don't care who right now) spoke up.

"Yeah! Let's Riverdance!"

They all linked arms and danced around like Riverdancing pansies, stomping out the lice.

[Chickenman 9]

Chickenman just snapped pictures...just wait until the psycho yearbook.

He cackled.

Shampoo elves were dying left and right, but the GBers fought on.

Then Chickenman was struck by a thought. Whatever happened to those blue and red horses?

As if on cue, the mentioned horses apeared and joined the battle on their respective sides.

All the GBers, along with the shampoo elves joined in a massive beeurdwail:CHHHHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!

Edited April 28, 2004 by Chickenman

[Tsl 7]

The red and blue horses stormed onto the lice-ridden battlefield, the red horses from the east and the blue from the west. Great legions of horses comprised either side, each army having upwards of 5,000 stallions (plus a few masculine mares and a dozen or so geldings to each side), and as they came, they stamped out most of the remaining lice (as well as a few Shampoo Elves). The psychoes found themselves surrounded.

The two horse armies closed in and stopped about 5 yards away from one another, leaving only a couple yards between their front ranks and the psychos.

"Ye Blue Horses of the West, harken unto me!" yelled the biggest and meanest of the red horses. He stood near the front and stamped a hoof to get everyone's attention. "The mightiest of horses, the Red Horses of the East will stand no more for your Capitalist ways! We shall subjugate ye like so many dominoes! First ye Blue Horses of Vasselkyjellia shall fall, and then all others will follow in a cascade of blissful Redness! Muahahaha!"

"Nevaar!" shouted a rather dumpy looking blue stallion. He stood near the front of the Blue army and snorted horse-ishly.

"That's Alfie!" Tsl whispered excitedly and jabbed Drake in the side to get his attention.

"Ugh..." he groaned. "Quit jabbing me...my head hurts."

"Wait," whispered Ender. "I thought Alfie was only Furday in a horse costume."

"He was," explained Furday. "Er...I was. But I modeled my costume and behavior from the real Alfie, Almight Blue Horse of the West."

"You Red Horses of the East are evil and we Blue Horses shall not rest until your kind are expunged from the this fairest of worlds, Vasselkyjellia!" continued Alfie.

"Then ye shall all perish!" yelled the Red Horse.

"No! Ye shall all perish!" retorted Alfie.

"DEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAATH!" The cry tore from the Red Leader's throat and was soon taken up by the entire Red host.

"DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAATH DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAATH!" The war cry thundered across the battle field, the sonic waves from it killing the remaining lice (and a few more Shampoo Elves).

"Um...guys? Maybe we should get outta here?" said Mara.

"Yeah, I'm thinking that's a good idea," said Chicken.

"We can't though! We're surrouned!" said Furday. And indeed, they were completely surrounded by horses. The stench was unbearable.

"Right then," said Ender. He nodded at the others grimly and drew his sword he'd brought for the lice battle. "We fight."

"Yesssssss..." said Drake. He had that cute little gleam of pure evil in his eyes as he drew his double ended lightsaber and ignited it.

"Sounds fun," agreed Tsl. "But which side do we kill? I was never quite clear on which side was our side. So...Prin, which side?"

"I dunno," she shrugged.

"It's your planet...shouldn't you know?" asked Chicken.

"I can't keep track of every little evil horde on this world, y'know!" she said. She seemed rather irritated.

"The Red! We must destroy the Red!" screamed Ender. He was jumping up and down and waving his sword around in extreme agitation. "DEATH TO THE COMMIES!!!!!"

"Sounds good to me," shrugged Fett.

"Alright then, we kill the Blue ones!" declared Drake.

Tsl nudged him gently and whispered something into his ear.

"No, Red! We kill the Red ones! Psychos! Rally to meeeee!" he shouted. The Psychos rallied.

[Chickenman 9]

*Presses activation switch on lightsaber*

*beam doesn't come out*

*checks battery level*

Out of power? I just recharged them this morning!

*Red horses surround him*

Er...be right back.

*Heads for hills*

[Sticks 1]

Sticks groaned. Her head hurt. She couldn't remember anything. Only her name. Her name and...and...

She blinked. Something was nagging her in the back of her mind. Something important. But...Sticks couldn't remember.

She opened her eyes and found herself surrounded by trees with...weird leaves. Was that...hair on the leaves? It looked like human hair growing from the trees, but Sticks wasn't sure.

"You have awakened, child," a voice said.

"Huh? Who said that? Show yourself!" Stick cried, glancing frantically around.

"Down here!"

She looked down and squinted. "Where?"

"You need only to look closely and you will see me, Holy One."

Sticks frowned. "All I see are stupid little bugs. Wait a minute, are those...lice?"

One of the little louses waved its arms around. "Yes, it's me talking to you! I am King Hermie of the National Communistic Theo-Democracy of Liceville! I welcome you to my humble home!"

Sticks raised an eyebrow. Something about that title didn't sound right. "Uh...so you're a National Communistic Theo-Democracy?" She blinked. "Is that possible?"

"No, but neither are talking lice," King Hermie said.

"Oh. So why am I here again? I'm confuzed. What happened?"

"Oh, yes. You had a nasty fall and hit your head a day ago, so you probably wont remember anything, correct?"

"Just my name...Sticks...uh...Sticks...I think that's it."

"Let me refresh your memory. When you were a baby, you were abandoned and I found you. I then raised you as my own child here in the palace of Liceville. From a young age, you were taught martial arts and the ways of the Force, trained as a warrior. Just yesterday, the bad humans of Vasselkyjellia invaded our city, and killed many innocent lives! You were hurt defending our city, and fell onto a rock," King Hermie said.

"Oh. But I'm confuzled. Why were you...uh...we being attacked again?" Sticks asked.

"The humans are trying to take the planet away from us. See, they are foreign invaders who came here a couple of years ago. We are the rightful owners of Vasselkyjellia, and we will fight until the very end!"

"Uh...that's cool...so you guys...um...we're the good guys, and the humans are the bad guys, right?"

The King of the Lice nodded. "Correct. Now, you look terrible, my child. You'd better get some more rest before the big battle tomorrow."

"Uh...ok......dad...," Sticks frowned. It felt weird saying that. She couldn't shake the feeling that something wasn't right, either. But she shook those feelings away and figured she was still feeling the side effects of that fall. With that, she fell into a deep sleep, and dreamed about many odd things: psychotic people, horny wookies, slugs, spacecrafts, and much more. None of it made sense...

[Princess 35]

Prin was sleeping peacefully in the master suite of the palace. It seemed like she was floating in the mysterious goo like substance that covered Vaselkyjellia. The goo provided her with a neural interface with everything that was going on throughout the planet. If something arose that needed her attention, she would be immediately wakened. Everything was proceeding smoothly this night on Vaselkyjellia. Everyone was resting, some not so sure of the goo as others, yet they were all amazed by the healing properties that it had, it was even better than bacta. Some people, she realized, picking up on some vibes from TSL and Drake, had even discovered the aphrodisiac qualities that the goo had. Just as Prin was about to slip into the deepest part of slumber, aided by the goo, she jolted awake. "STICKS! Something is wrong with Sticks. I can feel it."

Prin jumped out of bed and ran down the hall to the Black Suite. She hated to interrupt Drake and TSL, but it had to be done. The rest of the Psychos needed to be contacted. Prin pounded on the door until Drake answered it with a slightly annoyed look on his face while wearing a strategically placed sock. "Thanks a lot Prin, we were in the middle of a uh scientific experiment, yeah that's it, a scientific experiment on the different qualities of this goo that is everywhere."

"Oh can it Sith Boy," Prin retorted, knowing how much he hated that nickname. "Sticks is in trouble. You're the XO, you need to get a hold of the Commander and rally the rest of the Psychos here. And besides, don't you know that it's rude to keep the ruler of a planet waiting. Even if you are presently engaged in something."

Drake let out an exhasperated sigh and went to grab a robe just to feel a little more comfortable walking around the palace, even if everyone did look at him weird because he was wearing clothes.

Prin finally connected with Sticks via the Psycho Link that all the Psycho's shared. When she tried to deepen the connection though, she was pushed back. She cried out in pain as she fell to the cold cement. Even the ever present goo had retracted away, for it felt the pain that Prin had felt.

"Something is very wrong," she said, "Drake, you must get to the comm room immediately and get Rogue and the others here. Sticks, or Sticks, Princess of the National Communistic Theo - Democracy of Liceville, as she's currently calling herself, is in big trouble. I've got a bad feeling about this."

[Sticks 1]

Sticks awoke the next morning itching all over. Scratching herself all over, she got up and walked around in search of the King, her "father's", palace room, but she couldn't remember which clump of hair it was. They all looked so alike!

"But what if she regains her memory?" Sticks heard a voice say.

"Then we'll have to kill her. But we cant let this opportunity pass. She could be a big help to us!" She heard another voice say, recognizing this one as the King's.

"Uh...da-daddy?" Sticks asked, peering through a rather large clump of hair. She saw little lice scurrying around everywhere.

One louse looked up at her. "Oh, good, you're up. We have a big day ahead of us. This morning we'll go over the battle plan, then tonight we march into the final battle between us, the rightful natives of the planet, and evil humans!"

"Um...aight..." Sticks blinked. "Uh...dad, why do I itch so bad?"

The King gave her a blank expression. "Oh, that's just the...ah...side effects of the medicine that was administered to you last night."

"Oh."

"Now, my child, we plan for war."

[Andy 60]

They walked into Eclipse to be told of an ingured Jedi, named Alema Rar being brought in recently. Beeurd and Rogue glanced at eachother.

"We are up to Star by Star already?" Beeurd gasped.

"But that means... Voxyn!" Rogue said.

"What are you two babbling on about now?" Anakin asked.

"Uhh, nothing." They both replied and looked away innocently.

"I see..." Anakin said. "Bob thinks you know more than you say"

"Aren't you a bit old for an imaginary friend?" Rogue asked.

"Not imaginary," Anakin argued, "invisible."

"Yeah, whatever." Rogue waited until the other Jedi were out of earshot. "We need to get the other Psychos to go to Myrkr with us! It's our duty to protect our favourite characters."

"Yeah, perhaps we could get rid of Kyp instead..." Beeurd suggested.

"I'm serious." said Rogue.

Beeurd flicked through a dictionary. "Serious... Oh right, sorry. Anyways, we already saved Tahiri from going crazy, because the Vong were too busy trying to catch me to capture her."

"Yeah, and we all know what happened in Star by Star..." Rogue trailed off.

"Damn, if only would could have gone back to before the Vong invasion and saved Chewie aswell."

(( I gotta go. Might continue this later... ))

[Chickenman 9]

Chicken woke with a start.

“What is it?” asked the voice in his head.

“I felt a disturbance in the plot. It was as if thousands of beings suddenly cried out because someone screwed it up.” Chicken replied.

“That sucks.” replied the voice. Chicken merely nodded. The memories of the battle suddenly came back to him. All too well.

When he had fled the battle, he ran through a dark forest, one where the trees blocked out the sun. Coming to a clearing, he found a conveniently placed airstrip, next to an equally conveniently placed hair salon. Hmm…thought Chicken.

As he loaded some beauty supplies on to a B-52, a voice called out to him.

“Hey punk! You can’t take those supplies!”

“Who said that?” cried Chicken, whirling around. Suddenly a tree stood up.

“Oh come on! I don’t even like those books!”

“Those are our beauty products and you can’t have them!”

“Oh yeah? Well…umm…” An army of trees began to surround him. “Uh-oh.”

Suddenly a lightsaber conveniently fell from the sky into Chicken’s hand. He checked the batteries first, then activated it. A beaver jumped out.

“Corran’s beaver saber!” Chicken cried. He ordered the beaver to chew the trees to bits.

As he loaded the supplies onto the B-52, he couldn’t help but think about how screwed up this planet was.

“Hey co-pilot!” cried a voice when Chicken had taken off.

“What the-?” Chicken cried. He whirled around in his seat and saw…

“Hiya! My name’s Anakin!” said the potted plant.

“Oh come on! You’re not even in the right in part of the timeline! Didn’t you read Beeurd’s post?”

“Meh.” replied the potted plant.

“Get out!” Chicken ordered.

“Oh, so you already have a weapons specialist on board?”

“Erm…no.”

“I see.”

“Fine, buckle in and shut up.”

“Sure thing.”

“So are we there yet?” Anakin asked.

“No.”

“Then where are we?”

“I dunno…shouldn’t have taken that left at Alberquerque…”

“Don’t tell me you don’t have a navigator either!” Anakin scoffed.

“Don’t make me turn this thing around!”

“Yes sir.”

“Where’s Chicken?” asked Prin, in the middle of the battle.

“Forget him, more kills for us!” Ender cried out, gunning some horses down. “Take this, Commies!”

Suddenly, they all saw a plane…

“Open the bomb bay doors!”

“Aye, aye.”

“Drop the anti lice shampoo!”

“Aye, aye sir!”

The bottles fell towards the ground and detonated about halfway to it, spreading the area with shampoo.

Lice and Communist Horses alike fell to the ground.

Prin picked up one of the bottles. “Anti lice shampoo…also eliminates Communist Horses.” She read aloud. "Interesting."

Edited May 25, 2004 by Chickenman

[Bad furday 57]

Drake ran to the comm room to contact the other Psychos.

On his way, he ran past the doors behind which various Psychos were sleeping.

As he neared each door, Drake knocked furiously, and cried,

"Sticks is in trouble! Sticks is in trouble!" which resulted in the door being sleepily opened by the room's dazed occupants.

"It's the midnight run of Sith Lord Drake," thought Drake to himself.

Drake rapped smartly with his knuckles on Furday's door, and yelled about Sticks' predicament.

The door did not open.

Curious, Drake halted outside Furday's door and knocked again.

After a moment's pause, a clopping sound was heard, and the door swung inwards to reveal...

Alfie, Almighty Blue Horse of the West.

"Oh!" cried Drake, and took a step back.

Alfie cackled, and then reached up with his hoof and removed his head.

Furday poked his head out of the Alfie costume.

"Hey there Dadders D!" he said.

"Oh, it's only you. Well, we've got to save Sticks. She's in big trouble with some lice, and isn't right in the head" said Drake.

"Well, tell me something that we all didn't know!" Furday said. "Besides the part about not being right in the head."

Furday was sure that he felt a virtual, Sticky slap through the Force.

"They're Communist Theo-Democratic lice?" offered Drake.

"Oh....well, in that case..." Furday began to change out of the Alfie costume.

"No no, keep it on," said Drake. " I've got to go to the comm room and contact Beeurd, Rogue, and the others. That costume gives me an idea."

Partially curious, and partially dreading, Furday followed Drake to the comm room.

Edited May 31, 2004 by Bad ?urday

[Chickenman 9]

"Five more minutes..." Chicken complained.

Drake merly pulled the sheets off Chicken.

Shivering, Chicken crumpled into a little a ball for warmth.

Drake got a bucket of water and dumped it on Chicken.

"ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT!!!! I'm up!"

[Tsl 7]

Tsl woke, disoriented in a room of pure white. White walls, white tile, white....you get the idea.

"Ugh. Where am I?" she asked.

"You are in Story Limbo," an eerie voice replied.

"What's that?" she asked.

"It's a place writer's go when they write long pieces, or when they don't introduce new characters in each paragraph. You are guilty of both."

"I'm sorry...I didn't know it was a crime!"

"It's far too late for that! You will recieve a fair trial, of course, and you may present your case to a judge, but we all know you're guilty."

"But...but..." She stood and began looking for an exit, but there where neither doors nor windows in the Limbo.

"Yes, how did you know? Judge But will be hearing your case. Until then, we must stop, else the post become too lengthy."

"Er...but...I..."

"NOW YOU'VE GONE AND MADE IT TOO LENGTHY! Now I will be forced to add another character and a viciously sudden plot change!"

Suddenly the White is replaced with a violently brilliant yellow and the voice becomes less eerie and more cheerful. Also, a small blue baseball cap has appeared on the floor beside Tsl.

"Hi," said the cap. "I'm the new character."

"And now we end this! NOW!" yelled the cheerful voice.

The post suddenly ended.

[Sticks 1]

Sticks stiffled a yawn. All this battle planning was getting really old. The lice leaders had been at it for hours, arguing over the best possible attack strategy, and Sticks didn't have much of an attention span.

"We should drop in by air! My air squad is superb! Once inside the compound, we can kill all the guards and let the groun forces in," the commander of the LAF (Lice Air Force) said.

"No," argued the leader of the ground forces. "We want a part of this too! And where are we supposed to hide while the air forces strike? We can't just wait at the gates of the castle for you guys to let us in!"

Sticks was tired of this. "You guys, why don't we just go in the secret entrance?"

The room went quiet. "Secret entrance? Honey, you never told us there was a secret entrance to the castle," the King said.

"You never asked."

"Wait! I have a brilliant idea!" the King of the Lice shouted, his eyes glowing. "Why dont we send the ground forces through the secret entrance in the castle to attack?"

Sticks rolled her eyes. Hadn't she just said that? "But we need a distraction to get our troops that close to the castle. How about you send the air forces in to create a distraction?"

"Wait! I have another brilliant idea!" the King yelped. "Why dont the air forces go in first to create a distraction?"

Sticks groaned. It was as if she didn't exist! Every idea she had her "father" stole. To prove her point to a non-existent audience in her head, she said," But in order to get that distraction, the air force should all wear yellow polka-dotted bikinis!"

The King gasped. "I just had a thought! Why doesn't the air force all wear yellow polka-dotted bikinis to create even more of a distraction?" The rest of the lice at the council nodded and murmured amongst themselves. The plan was brilliant! Their wonderful King had done it again!

"So it's set," said the King. "Tonight we commence battle plan...uh...YPDB, short for Yellow Polka-Dotted Bikini!" He turned to the leader of the air force. "Commander, go get your troops suited up!"

Sticks suppressed a groan at the lame pun. "And what do I do in this whole plan?" she asked.

"Why you will lead the ground troops to this secret entrance and coninue to fight with them to win the castle!" The King pointed to a hollow tree. "Your, uh...things...are over there. If you do not have a weapon one will be provided."

Sticks pulled a pack out of the tree. In it was an extra set of clothes, a blaster, some ammo, and a strange cylindrical thing. She gasped. It was a...a...lightsaber! But why would she have a lightsaber? Sticks frowned hard, trying to remember. Finally giving up and in pain, Sticks shoved the weapons back into the pack and slung it over her shoulder.

[Tsl 7]

There was a great noise, like someone had just torn a giant newspaper in half. Tsl was startled out of a sleep-like trance and looked around frantically for the source of the noise.

"It's the sound of a new post starting," said the baseball cap.

"Oh," said Tsl. She could no longer be suprised by anything in this place.

The walls, she noticed, were purple now and off to the west there stood a tall, polka-dotted podium.

"What is that?" she asked. She pointed at the podium, which seemed to be glowing faintly. Or perhaps it was merely reflecting the brilliant purple of the walls around them.

"Don't point! That's Judge But's podium!" said the hat.

Just then, a deep, booming voice issued forth from the podium.

"THE ACCUSED WILL APPROACH THE BENCH!"

Tsl stood, and trembling nervously, she shuffled towards the stand. As she got closer, she was finally able to see the source of the voice. She was quite shocked to learn that it originated from a small penguin who was wearing a powdered wig and waving a tiny gavel about. The little penguin eyed her with somewhat dangerous looking, beady little eyes and lifted his beak up (for he had no chin to speak of) in an arrogant manner.

"YOU ARE ACCUSED OF POSTING WITH GROSS INEPTITUDE AND POINTLESSNESS. HOW DO YOU PLEAD?"

"I....I, er....ummm...." Tsl stammered, not certain what to say.

"My client pleads guilty to all counts," said the hat.

"I what?!"

"I am your attorney, and you would do well to listen to my advice. You will plead guilty and your sentence will be less harsh," said the little hat.

"But I don't want to plead guilty!"

"SILENCE!" boomed the penguin. "THIS POST IS ALREADY MUCH TOO LENGTHY. IT MUST END.......NOW!"

And the post suddenly ended.

[Chickenman 9]

Since Chicken wanted to get the story going, but didn't know what Drake and Prin had planned for the storyline, Chickenman wrote an incredibly useless post:

Chicken and the others entered the comm room.

[Princess 35]

Everyone crowded into the comm room as Drake was busy entering in the uber long communications code to get a hold of Rogue on her private comm link. Suddenly he fell to his knees and gasped in pain. "TSL... in... story... limbo... must save her."

Furday and Prin rushed to his side. "It's ok Drake. Chicken and Furday will go and save her. You've got to focus and get through to the Commander. Something is wrong with Sticks, they're trying to turn her against us and we need her confuzling ways to help us to defeat the Vong," Prin told Drake as Furday tried to help him back to his feet.

"That's right Big Daddy D. We'll head out right now and save TSL. We need her. She's been such a big help to us," Furday told Drake while motioning to Chicken. "Ok Chicken here's what we need. Story limbo is a scary white room with one little window up at the top. We're going to need 30 different colors of paint and a lot of alcohol. We need to scale to the top of the limbo rom, form a congo line, and then go under the limbo bar that's on the roof. We then need to make TSL remember her Psycho ways and we will do that by getting her uberly mega drunk and then we'll lower the cans of paint to her so that she can add color to the room. Once she hides all of the white in the room she'll remember her pyschopathic ways and be able to vault out of limbo and here to help us. Got that?"

Chicken looked scared but he nodded slowly. And headed off to the bar to grab all the alcohol that he could carry and Furday rushed off to get the paint.

Drake looked tired. Prin glanced around the room and saw that Mara was wandering around and didn't know what to do. Something had to be done about that. "Mara!" Prin shouted to get her attention. "Drake needs energy to contact Rogue. His worry for TSL is draining him of his dark side powers. I need you to pour all the strength that you can into him. We've got to contact Rogue!"

Mara nodded and poured all of the energy that she could into Drake. Drake's color soon started to come back to him and he finished entering the codes needed to contact Rogue. "Psycho leader this is Nutty Nutcase calling Psycho leader come in Psycho leader."

While Drake was trying to get a hold of Rogue, Prin reached out with the Force to try to find Sticks.

************************************

Sticks was leading the Lice ground forces through the captial city. It was the early morning hours now and they were in a hurry to get to the secret enterance before they were spotted.

There were more and more shops as they neared the castle and Sticks caught sight of a rather large and colorful sign. She turned around to look at it. She gasped when she read it. Early morning hours sale. Flightsuits 90% off. Something called to Sticks. She tried to fight it but soon she was running towards The Flightsuit Store screaming "SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALE!" She snickered as she remembered that she had Furday's credit card tucked safely away. But who was this Furday and why did she get the feeling that he was someone important to her?

***********************************

Ender and Fett were standing in the comm room wondering what to do. They seemed to have been lost in the storyline and they were hoping that would change soon.

Suddenly they felt a terrible feeling, like someone was trying to shove a whole lot of information into one huge post and trying to get all of the characters involved again. They doubled over in pain before getting cravings for cheeze. They looked at each other and knew what they had to do.

"We've got to go find CorSec! The Vaselkyjellia cheeze district is in trouble!" They took off at a dead run.

***********************************

CorSec woke up with his giant slug head resting against a cheeze wheel. He had a huge headache. He looked around slowly and didn't really recognize where he was. He sat up slowly and groaned as everything started to spin. "Ugh, that's it. No more cheeze binges for me. I had the weirdest dream that I was talking to George Lucas and he complimented me on my beaver saber. And why am I talking to myself?"

A weird haze floated towards CorSec and it materialized slowly in front of him into a talking Cheezehead. "Greetings Queen Corseccia. I'm your Fairy Cheezemother. I'm here to help you."

CorSec at the sight of Fairy Cheezemother. "Why are you here Fairy Cheezemother?"

"Well, CorSec, you seem to have gotten lost from the others and had a run in with George Lucas and Darth EU Continuity Factor. You almost didn't survive, but you pulled through in wonderful style. Because of your uncharacteristic bravery, I'm going to grant you 2 wishes. What be your wishes my child?"

"I want to be a real boy Fairy Cheezemother. I'm sick of this transvestite space slug body. I want to be a real boy again."

Fairy Cheezemother threw a hunk of limburger cheeze at CorSec and hit him with it. As he started gagging from the stench he shed his slug body and became a real boy once again.

"Oh thank you Fairy Cheezemother! For my second wish I'd like to never get sick of eating Cheeze again!"

Ender and Fett ran up at that point. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" They both screamed, trying to stop Fairy Cheezemother, but it was too late.

*******************************

Rogue was thinking about Chewie when she heard her comm link buzz. She grabbed it and heard Drake. "Psycho leader this is Nutty Nutcase, come in Psycho leader."

"Nutty nutcase, this is Psycho leader. What seems to be the situation?"

"Psycho leader, a group of Psycho's are on the planet Vaselkyjellia, where Prin is the ruler. We have had to fight lice and communistic horses. Sticks has been taken captive and they are trying to brainwash her we believe. CorSec has disappeared and TSL is stuck in story limbo. We need help Psycho leader."

"Copy that nutty nutcase. I have Beeurd here with me. I'm currently at Eclipse. We are currently in the presence of Anakin Solo, Bob, and the Masters Skywalker."

"Commander, none of us know the coordinates to Eclipse and we really do need some help here on Vaselkyjellia. And do you know where we've progressed to in the NJO."

"We are currently at Star by Star." Rogue paused as she heard Drake gasp. "The Mykr mission is getting set to go. I'm trying to stall so that we don't lose you know who. This just may be the thing that we need. Especially with Ender's love of explosive. We just may be able to get this thing off how it's supposed to go. What are the coordinates to Vaselkyjellia?"

Drake rattled off a list of coordinates and then ended the conversation with Rogue. Rogue memorized them and got everyone together to head to Vaselkyjellia. Maybe fate could be avoided for Anakin.

************************

Drake collapsed in the comm room. He was so worried about TSL. Mara and Prin gently lifted him up and carried him back to his stateroom so that they could wait for Furday and Chicken to rescue TSL.

************************

Chicken and Furday finally made it to Story Limbo. They could hear TSL's tortured screams as she tried to escape. They both shuddered and felt sorry for her. They inched their ways towards the small window and caught sight of her. Furday dropped an ice cube down the window and TSL pounced on it, balancing it on her nose. The time for rescue was now. After they rescued TSL they could find JainaS and the rest of the Psychos. They had to do that. They future of the galaxy depended on it

[Chickenman 9]

Chicken was tense. He had never told the psychos how he couldn't dance. And now he had to form a congo line! Oh well, now or never. He tensed his muscles, readying them for a jump into the limbo room-

"Hey buddy!" cried out a voice. Chicken fell into the limbo room, landing on the baseball cap. Glancing up, Chicken saw...Anakin, the potted plant!

"ANAKIN!!!!!" Chicken cried out.

"Who dares disturb my court!?" cried out the penguin.

"He did!" said TSL, pointing, still balancing the ice cube on her nose.

"It was the potted plant's fault!" Chicken tried to explain.

"What potted plant?" the penguin asked.

"Me!!!!" said Anakin, jumping down.

"Oh...my...god..." stuttered the penguin. "Those leaves...that stem...those flower petals. Someone looks hot!" TSL, Chicken, and the baseball cap all wore an expression of disgusted disbelief. Furday merely cackled.

"Umm...I'm sorry...Mr. Penguin...but...it wouldn't work out between us..." Anakin tried.

"May I touch your pot?"

"WHAT??!!"

"May I touch your pot?"

"NO!!!!!!!!"

Now that the penguin was good and distracted, it was time to break free.

"Congo Line!" Chicken cried out. The cap went behind Chicken, TSL went behind the cap, Furday, seizing the oppurtunity, put his hands on TSL's waist, Anakin fell in behind Furday, and the penguin fell in behind Anakin. (Of course) The music began playing. Chicken took a deep breath. The moment of truth.

[Andy 60]

The Jedi were in hyperspace on the way to Vaselkyjellia.

"You can tell Prin rules this place just by the name," Beeurd said.

"Yeah," said Rogue, "although I'm sure Furday must have helped somewhere."

"So, what's up dudes?" Master Skywalker said as he walked onto the bridge of the transport.

"Uhh, Uncle Luke?" Anakin said.

"What is it, man?" Luke answered.

"Don't start that again. It's not cool at all."

"That is a fact." said Tenal Ka.

"Yeah... So anyway," Rogue said, speaking to the whole group, "I think I've come up with an idea for this mission to Myrkr. The main problem with Anakin's plan..."

"Wait, my plan?" asked Anakin incredulously, "I haven't told you my plan. And why Myrkr?"

"Because Myrkr is where the Voxyn are being created, duh!" Beeurd said.

"Really, I didn't realise... I'll have to change my plan then..." Anakin muttered.

"So is your plan, then, Anakin?" Jacen asked.

"Yeah, little brother, tell us." Jaina added.

"Well..." Anakin thought for a moment, the reached for a holographic display and put a map of the galaxy up. "Myrkr is here, about 400 lightyears behind enemy lines. I suggest that we fool the Vong into thinking they have captured us, possibly be having them believe that the Peace Brigade were handing us over, but really we have our weapons secretly carried by YVH droids provided by Lando." The holo changed to show a pair of ships, one of them Vong: the image changed to suit the actions that Anakin was saying. "While the Vong are 'capturing' us, the YVH droids will attatch themselves to the the hull of the Vong ship and later blast in rescue us, give us our weapons and we steal the ship and race to Myrkr, kill the Voxyn Queen and save the galaxy! Yar!"

The rest of the Jedi were stunned.

"What did you do with the real Anakin?" Jaina demanded.

"What?" Anakin said. "I can be intelligent when I want to be. Now if you'll excuse me I need to go lie down - my head hurts from that thinking..."

Anakin wandered off to the sleeping area.

"As I was saying," Rogue said, "Anakin's plan doesn't have a way of getting home again afterwards - that's where us Psycho's can help!"

"You want to be a part of this?" Luke said.

"Of course!" Beeurd and Rogue said in unison.

( my first post in ages. Hope it's good enough )

[Drake 53]

I am incapable of showing weakness.

A few moments after Prin and Mara tucked Drake into bed, he sat right back up, looking refreshed and well rested.

"That was a nice nap. Let's go blow stuff up and conquer the galaxy and stuff along those lines!" Drake said excitedly.

Mara and Prin looked at eachother with confused expressions. Prin voiced their confusion. "Uhh...A few moments ago, you were almost unconscious."

Drake chuckled. "Oh right. After six grand and change years, I've trained my body to need only a few minutes of sleep every day. That bout was enough to last me a week! Let's rock!"

The ladies shrugged.

"Aren't you worried about Tsl?" asked Mara.

"Of course I am! But I have complete faith in Chickenman and Furdaddy. He can rescue her with his enormous, furry, throbbing, meaty...........arms."

Prin and Mara groan at the bad innuendo joke.

"When will Rogue and B get here?" Drake asked.

"They should be here in a few minutes." said Prin.

"Well, we should go greet them or something. I want to meet Luke Skywalker and.....not kill him. Heh." His eyes go all shifty-like.

Mara cried out. "NOOOOOOOOO!! Not my Lukie!"

Prin layed down the adminsmack. "We'll have none of that! We can't ruin continuity...that much. Even though we've pretty much screwed it over anyway...."

Drake sighed. "Damn."

When they couldn't think of anything else to add to the post, the three of them went to meet the Commander, Beeurd and those other people of little consequence.

[Sticks 1]

((*Snickers*

Really, Prin, a flightsuit sale?!? You think I'd be distracted so easily? ))

Sticks was in heaven. She was staring at the most beautiful, and most expensive of course, flightsuit ever! Only upon looking closely could one tell that there was something there, for this flightsuit was totally clear. It was the ultimate flightsuit, however; it was coated in diamond. When one put it on, it gave them extra protection but the wearer appeared to be wearing nothing. Perfect for Vaselkyjellia.

"Uh...Sticks, we gotta go," a small voice said to her. Sticks wasn't paying attention, however. She was staring that the flightsuit, stuck in her own little world.

"I want it, daddy!" She cried.

"B-but...where am I supposed to get that kind of money?" the King of Lice sputtered.

"Well, figure it out! If I dont get that flightsuit now I'm not gonna help you with your plan!" Sticks cried. "And..." she added, "I'll scream. Loud."

"No! Honey, you mustn't scream! That'll attract attention and the Kingdom will be alerted to our presence!"

Sticks narrowed her eyes and opened her mouth to scream. "No, wait! Ok, let's be rational here...don't you have any money?" the King asked.

Sticks frowned. "No! Why would I have any money? All I have is someone else's credit card...someone I don't even know!" Wait a minute...Sticks had an idea. "I know, I'll use this Furday's credit card to pay for the ultimate flightsuit!" she cried, and went to go pay for her purchase.

"Ok, can we proceed with the plan now?" the very aggrivated King asked.

[Chickenman 9]

So they all congoed to the bar.

"Hey Furday. Is this part even nessesary? I mean, she seems okay..."

"No! It's completly neccesary! Crucial Even! Downright important!"

"K...whatever." Chicken used Furday's credit card (which had somehow gone from Sticks' possesion to his) to buy drinks all around.

"So...Anakin? You said your name was? Can I buy you a drink?" the penguin asked.

"NO!"

"Well fine! I never loved you anyway! I had a chance with Betty, but no!" The penguin ran off crying.

"Well that was weird,? said Anakin. He then went to talk to Chicken. "Hey Chicken!" he cried out.

"Not you again...look, would you leave me alone you annoying little twerp?" Chicken replied.

Suddenly an angel appeared on Chicken's shoulder.

"Now Chicken, I don't think that's a way to treat your little friend here."

"Who the hell are you?"

"Why...I'm your conscious."

"I have no conscious."

"Yeah...I'm in line for the job of being George Clooney's but the waiting list is so long I decided to be yours temporarily." Suddenly, a little devil appeared on Chicken's other shoulder.

"Go ahead get rid of him...he's annoying.... and....he's a plant...and...?

?See, he can?t even come up with a good to reason to kill Anakin! Anakin?s just looking for a friend.? The angel replied.

?Shut up you winged freak!? the devil spat

?Chicken, what would God do??

Chicken stayed motionless thinking. What would God do? Suddenly, he stood up on the bar and raised his hands to the heavens.

And a lightning bolt came down, electrocuting Anakin.

Chicken cackled.

[Bad furday 57]

The devil roared with laughter, and taunted Anakin. The angel was thoroughly shocked, and apologised profusely for god's actions.

"Those crispy leaves! That charred stem! Someone's been owned!" cackled the devil.

Wisps of smoke drifted from Anakin and his pot, which now featured multiple scorch marks.

"I'm terribly sorry!" cried the angel, extremely flustered. "He's usually not like this! I mean, a flood here, a plague there, and some weird fetish with frogs and blood, but other than that, he's a really a nice guy."

"I guess everyone's not a fan" cackled Furday, inspecting the fried Anakin. He then flicked M&M's at the devil and angel, making both disappear with a pop.

Wondering how a credit card that he didn't have ended up from Sticks to Chickenman, Furday downed the rest of his tea.

Placing the cup on the bar, Furday's eyes focused on the tea leaves on the bottom of the cup.

"Chickenman! It's.....The Grimm!" cried Furday.

"Um....should I know this?" asked Chickenman.

"The tea leaves are in the shape of a giant black dog. It's said to bring death...or something." replied Furday.

"I think I'd be worried about the ' or something' part..." murmured Chickenman.

Furday glanced in the cup again and frowned. He then rotated the cup and looked at the tea leaves, which now looked like a stripper on a pole.

"Um...nevermind...I read it wrong." said Furday, cackling. "It was the Dancer of Good Forturne".

The others crowded around to look.