Holiday Karaoke Lounge

[Radioactive Isotope 29]

Newsong

The Christmas Shoes

It was almost Christmas time, there I stood in another line

Tryin' to buy that last gift or two, not really in the Christmas mood

Standing right in front of me was a little boy waiting anxiously

Pacing 'round like little boys do

And in his hands he held a pair of shoes

His clothes were worn and old, he was dirty from head to toe

And when it came his time to pay

I couldn't believe what I heard him say

Chorus:

Sir, I want to buy these shoes for my Mama, please

It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size

Could you hurry, sir, Daddy says there's not much time

You see she's been sick for quite a while

And I know these shoes would make her smile

And I want her to look beautiful if Mama meets Jesus tonight

He counted pennies for what seemed like years

Then the cashier said, "Son, there's not enough here"

He searched his pockets frantically

Then he turned and he looked at me

He said Mama made Christmas good at our house

Though most years she just did without

Tell me Sir, what am I going to do,

Somehow I've got to buy her these Christmas shoes

So I laid the money down, I just had to help him out

I'll never forget the look on his face when he said

Mama's gonna look so great

Sir, I want to buy these shoes for my Mama, please

It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size

Could you hurry, sir, Daddy says there's not much time

You see she's been sick for quite a while

And I know these shoes would make her smile

And I want her to look beautiful if Mama meets Jesus tonight

Bridge:

I knew I'd caught a glimpse of heaven's love

As he thanked me and ran out

I knew that God had sent that little boy

To remind me just what Christmas is all about

Repeat Chorus

[Princess 35]

That song always makes me want to cry

[GI_Admiral 2]

The news had come out in the First World War

The bloody Red Baron was flying once more

The Allied command ignored all of its men

And called on Snoopy to do it again.

Was the night before Christmas, 40 below

When Snoopy went up in search of his foe

He spied the Red Baron, fiercely they fought

With ice on his wings Snoopy knew he was caught.

Christmas bells those Christmas bells

Ring out from the land

Asking peace of all the world

And good will to man

The Baron had Snoopy dead in his sights

He reached for the trigger to pull it up tight

Why he didn't shoot, well, we'll never know

Or was it the bells from the village below.

Christmas bells those Christmas bells

Ringing through the land

Bringing peace to all the world

And good will to man

The Baron made Snoopy fly to the Rhine

And forced him to land behind the enemy lines

Snoopy was certain that this was the end

When the Baron cried out, "Merry Christmas, my friend"

The Baron then offered a holiday toast

And Snoopy, our hero, saluted his host

And then with a roar they were both on their way

Each knowing they'd meet on some other day.

Christmas bells those Christmas bells

Ringing through the land

Bringing peace to all the world

And good will to man

--Snoopy Christmas!! w00t!

[Princess 35]

O Holy Night, one of my favorites

O Holy night, the stars are brightly shining

It is the night of the dear Saviour's birth

Long lay the world in sin and error pining

Till He appeared and the soul felt His worth

A thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices

For yonder beams a new and glorious morn

Fall on your knees! Oh, hear the angel voices!

O night divine! O night when Christ was born!

O night divine! O night, O night divine!

Led by the light of faith serenely beaming

With glowing hearts by His cradle we stand

So led by light of a star sweetly gleaming

Here came the wise men from the Orient land

The King of Kings lay in lowly manger

In all our trials born to be our friend

He knows our need

To our weakness no stranger

Behold your King! before the lowly bend!

Behold your King! before Him bend!

Truly he taught us to love one another

His law is love and His gospel is peace

Chains shall He break, for the slave is our brother

And in His name all oppression shall cease

Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus rise we

Let all within us praise His holy name

Christ is the Lord

Then ever, ever praise we

His pow'r and glory ever more proclaim

His pow'r and glory ever more proclaim

[Roethlisberger 0]

Adam Sandler - The Chanukah Song Part II

Put on your yarmulke

Its time for Chanukah

So much funnaka

To celebrate Chanukah

Chanukah is the festival of lights

Instead of one day of presents

We get eight crazy nights

When you feel like the only kid in town

Without a Christmas tree

Here's a new list of people who are Jewish

Just like you and me

Winona Ryder,

Drinks Manischewitz wine

Then spins a draydle with Ralph Lauren and Calvin Klein

Guess who gives and receives

Loads of Chanukah toys

The girls from Veruca Salt and all three Beastie Boys

Lenny Kravitz is half Jewish,

Courtney Love is half too

Put them together

What a funky bad ass Jew

We got Harvey Keitel

And flash dancer Jennifer Beals

Yasmine Bleeth from Baywatch is Jewish

And yes her boobs are real

Put on your yarmulka

Its time for Chanukah

2 time Ocsar winning Dustin Hoffmanaka

celebrates Chanukah

O.J. Simpson

Still not a Jew

But guess who is,

The guy who does the voice for Scooby Doo

Bob Dylan was born a Jew

Then he wasn't

but now he's back,

Mary Tyler Moore's husband is Jewish

'Cause we're pretty good in the sack.

Guess who got bar-mitzvahed

On the PGA tour

No I'm not talking about Tiger Woods

I'm talkin' about Mr. Happy Gilmore.

So many Jews are in the show biz

Bruce Springsteen isn't

But my mother thinks he is.

Tell the world-amanaka

It's time for Chanukah

It's not pronounced Ch-nakah

The C is silent in Chanukah

So get your hooked on phonica

Get drunk in Tijuanaka

If you really really wannaka

Have a happy happy happy happy Chanukah!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Adam Sandler - The Chaunaka Song (Part 3)

Put on your yarmulke, it's time for Chaunaka.

Once again it's onaka, the miracle of Chaunaka.

Chaunaka is the Festival of Lights.

1 day of presents? Hell, no we get 8 Crazy Nights.

But if you still feel like the only kid in town without a Christmas tree.

I guess my 1st 2 songs didn't do it for you.

So here comes #3.

Ross & Phoebe from Friends, say the Chaunaka blessing.

So does Lenny's pal Squiggy & Will & Grace's Debra Messing.

Melissa Gilbert & Michael Landon never mix meat with dairy.

Maybe they should've called that show "Little Kosher House on the Prarie"

We've got Jerry Lewis, Ben Stiller & Jack Black.

Tom Arnold converted to Judaism, but you guys can have him back.

Marlon Brando ain't Jewish but he looks like he coulda ate one!

We may not get to kiss underneath the mistletoe.

But we can do it all night long with Deuce Bigelow.

I'm Jewish.

Put on your yarmulke, her comes Chaunaka.

The guy in Willie Nelson's band who plays harmonica, celebrates Chaunaka.

Osama bin Laden, not a big fan of the Jews.

Well maybe that's because he lost a figure-skating match to gold medalist Sarah Hughes- her mama's Jewish.

Houdini & David Blane escape straight jackets with such precision.

But the 1 thing they couldn't get out of, their painful circumcision.

Gwyneth Paltrow's half-Jewish but a full time Oscar winner.

Jennifer Connley's half-Jewish too & I'd like to put some more in her.

There's Lou Reed, Perry Farrel, Beck & Paula Abdul.

Joey Ramone invented punk rock music, but first came Hebrew school.

Hey, Natalie Portmanika.

It's time to celebrate Chaunaka.

I hope I get an abtronika.

On this joyfu, toyful Chaunaka.

So get a high colonika.

And spoil you Long Johnikas.

If you really really wannaka.

Have a happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy...Happy Chaunaka!

[TheUnknown 39]

:lol: at Fett's post. That's gotta be the best version so far.

BTW, please tell me there are more Chanukah songs than that and the South Park songs.

[Roethlisberger 0]

There are, but they are like the dreidel song and stuff. The funny hannukah songs are the best.

[chozen 1]

It was Christmas Eve babe

In the drunk tank

An old man said to me, won't see another one

And then he sang a song

The rare old mountain tune

I turned my face away

And dreamed about you

Got on a lucky one

Came in eighteen to one

I've got a feeling

This year's for me and you

So happy Christmas

I love you baby

I can see a better time

When all our dreams come true

They've got cars big as bars

They've got rivers of gold

But the wind goes right through you

It's no place for the old

When you first took my hand

On a cold Christmas Eve

You promised me

Broadway was waiting for me

You were handsome

You were pretty

Queen of New York City

When the band finished playing

They howled out for more

Sinatra was swinging,

All the drunks they were singing

We kissed on a corner

Then danced through the night

(chorus)

The boys of the NYPD choir

Were singing "Galway Bay"

And the bells were ringing out

For Christmas day

You're a bum

You're a punk

You're an old slut on junk

Lying there almost dead on a drip in that bed

You scumbag, you maggot

You cheap lousy faggot

Happy Christmas your arse

I pray God it's our last

(chorus)

I could have been someone

Well so could anyone

You took my dreams from me

When I first found you

I kept them with me babe

I put them with my own

Can't make it all alone

I've built my dreams around you

(chorus)

[Princess 35]

The Chipmunk Song

Dave:all right you Chipmunks! Ready to sing your song?

-I'll say we are!

-Yeah!

-Let's sing it now!

Dave: Okay, Simon?

-Okay!

Dave: Okay, Theodore?

-Okay!

Dave: Okay, Alvin? Alvin? ALVIN!

-OKAY!!!)

Christmas, Christmas time is near

Time for toys and time for cheer

We've been good, but we can't last

Hurry Christmas, hurry fast

Want a plane that loops the loop

Me, I want a hula hoop

We can hardly stand the wait

Please Christmas, don't be late.

Dave: Okay fellas get ready.

That was very good, Simon.

-Naturally.

Dave: Very good Theodore.

-Ahhh.

Dave: Ah, Alvin, you were a little flat, watch it.

Dave: Ah, Alvin. Alvin. ALVIN!

-OKAY.)

Want a plane that loops the loop

I still want a hula hoop

We can hardly stand the wait

Please Christmas, don't be late.

We can hardly stand the wait

Please Christmas, don't be late.

Dave: Very good, boys

-Lets sing it again! Yeah, lets sing it again!

Dave: No, That's enough, lets not overdo it

-What do you mean overdo it?

-We want to sing it again!

Dave: Now wait a minute, boys

-Why can't we sing it again?

-[chipmunk chatter]

Dave: Alvin, cut that out..Theodore, just a minute.

Simon will you cut that out? Boys...

[Ender 8]

Yes, I posted it last year... BUT IT'S A DAMN GOOD SONG

Its Christmas Time Again by John Mayer

Deck the halls with boughs of holly

Fa la la la la

La la la la

Tis the season to be jolly

Fa la la la la

La la la la

Outside the carollers start to sing

I can't describe the joy they bring

Cause joy is something they don't bring me

My girlfriend is by my side

On the roof are hanging 'sicles of ice

Their tiny voices get irritating

Its Christmas time again

So I stand with a dead smile on my face

Wondering how much of my time they'll waste

Oh, God, I hate these Satan's helpers

And then I guess I must have snapped

Because I grabbed a baseball bat

And made them all run for shelter

It's Christmas time again

It's time to be nice to the people you can't stand

All year

I'm growing tired of all this Christmas cheer

You people scare me

Please stay away from my home

If you don't want to get me down, just leave the presents

And then leave me alone

Well, I guess it's not cool to freak on Christmas Eve

Cause the cops came and arrested me

They had an unfair advantage

And even though the jail didn't have a tree

Christmas came a night early

It's Christmas time again

It's time to be nice to the people you can't stand

All year

I'm growing tired of all this Christmas cheer

You people scare

Please stay away from my home

If you don't want to get me down,just leave the presents

And then leave me alone

I won't be home

I won't be home for Christmas

I won't be home

I won't be home for Christmas

I won't be home

I won't be home for Christmas

I won't be home

I won't be home for Christmas

I won't be home

I won't be home for Christmas

[Mirax 3]

Father Christmas by The Kinks

When I was small I believed in santa claus

Though I knew it was my dad

And I would hang up my stocking at christmas

Open my presents and I?d be glad

But the last time I played father christmas

I stood outside a department store

A gang of kids came over and mugged me

And knocked my reindeer to the floor

They said:

Father christmas, give us some money

Don?t mess around with those silly toys.

We?ll beat you up if you don?t hand it over

We want your bread so don?t make us annoyed

Give all the toys to the little rich boys

Don?t give my brother a steve austin outfit

Don?t give my sister a cuddly toy

We don?t want a jigsaw or monopoly money

We only want the real mccoy

Father christmas, give us some money

We?ll beat you up if you make us annoyed

Father christmas, give us some money

Don?t mess around with those silly toys

But give my daddy a job ?cause he needs one

He?s got lots of mouths to feed

But if you?ve got one, I?ll have a machine gun

So I can scare all the kids down the street

Father christmas, give us some money

We got no time for your silly toys

We?ll beat you up if you don?t hand it over

Give all the toys to the little rich boys

Have yourself a merry merry christmas

Have yourself a good time

But remember the kids who got nothin?

While you?re drinkin? down your wine

Father christmas, give us some money

We got no time for your silly toys

We?ll beat you up if you don?t hand it over

We want your bread, so don?t make us annoyed

Give all the toys to the little rich boys

[Ender 8]

Merry Christmas by Oasis

are you hanging up your stocking on your wall

it's the time that every santa has a ball

does he ride a red nosed reindeer

does he turn up on his sleigh

do the farries keep him sober for a day

so here it is merry christmas

everybodies having fun

look to the future now

it's only just begun

are you waiting for your family to arrive

are you sure you've got the room to spare inside

does your granny always tell you

that the old songs are the best

and shes up and rock 'n' rolling with rest

so here it is merry christmas

everybodies having fun

look to the future now

it's only just begun

what will your daddy do when he sees your moma kissing santa, ahaa

are you hanging up your stocking on your wall

are you hoping that the snow will start to fall

do you ride on down the hillside

in a boggy you have made

when you land upon your head

then you will say

so here it is merry christmas

everybodies having fun

look to the future now

it's only just begun

(repeat chorus X4)

[Andy 60]

OMFG. I didn't know Oasis did that song.

*murders Oasis*

How dare they.

[Ender 8]

Actually, Slade did it. Oasis covered it, and made it sound cool.

*Resurrects Oasis*

*They give him tickets to the Wembley Stadium concert*

*Cheers*

[Andy 60]

I know Slade did it originally, i just didn't know that Oasis ever covered it.

thats like... crazy. That song is teh best xmas song ever. tis played all the time here at xmas, but only ever the original version.

btw, i posted it last year (last post on page 1)

[TheUnknown 39]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UjpK59pgWTw

Candles in the window,

shadows painting the ceiling,

gazing at the fire glow,

feeling that gingerbread feeling.

Precious moments,

special people,

happy faces,

I can see.

Somewhere in my mem'ry,

Christmas joys all around me,

living in my mem'ry,

all of the music,

all of the magic,

all of the fam'ly home here with me.

[Radioactive Isotope 29]

hear this one on the radio this morning. it made me giggle.

Who Put The Stump?

I'd like to find the guy

Who done me wrong

And stuck my butt up

On this Christmas tree.

Who put the stump

In my rump-ba-bump-ba-bump?

Who took and jammed it

In my ram-a-lam-a-ding dong?

Who stood the wood

Where I poop-she-poop-she-poop?

Who put the stick

Up my hipty-dipty-dip?

Who was that man?

He shoved it up my can

And left me stranded on this Christmas tree. (Yeah ...)

When this angel heard

Chop-ba-ba-bop, di-chop-ba-ba-bop,

A dreadful fear went right into my heart.

Those pine tree needles sting me,

Ram-a-jam-a-ram-a-jammin' in my ding dong.

You'll never know how much that smarts. (Hooah ...)

So who put the stump

In my rump-ba-bump-ba-bump?

Who took and jammed it

In my ram-a-lam-a-ding dong?

Who stood the wood

Where I poop-she-poop-she-poop?

Who put the stick

Up my hipty-dipty-dip?

Who took that bush

And crammed it in my tush?

He made this angel beg for mercy, please. (Yow ...)

Each night when I'm alone,

Scratchity scratchity scratchity scratchity

Scratchity scratchity shoop ...

It sets my tiny bottom all aglow.

And every time I wiggle,

Slipty-din-de-din, slipty-din-de-din,

A little further in it goes. (Ohhh/Yeah ...)

(Rump-ba-bump-ba-bump

Ram-a-lam-a ding dong

Slipty-din-de-din

Poopity poopity shoop ...)

Edited December 17, 2008 by Radioactive Isotope

[Drake 53]

Those have to be some of the dirtiest lyrics I've ever read.

[Radioactive Isotope 29]

it's a pretty catchy song. been stuck in my head all day.

[Bad furday 57]

I think we know what Jm's been thinking of all day.

Should we warn her hubby ahead of time? :p

[Radioactive Isotope 29]

Mary Did You Know?

Mary, did you know

that your Baby Boy would one day walk on water?

Mary, did you know

that your Baby Boy would save our sons and daughters?

Did you know

that your Baby Boy has come to make you new?

This Child that you delivered will soon deliver you.

Mary, did you know

that your Baby Boy will give sight to a blind man?

Mary, did you know

that your Baby Boy will calm the storm with His hand?

Did you know

that your Baby Boy has walked where angels trod?

When you kiss your little Baby you kissed the face of God?

Mary did you know.. Ooo Ooo Ooo

The blind will see.

The deaf will hear.

The dead will live again.

The lame will leap.

The dumb will speak

The praises of The Lamb.

Mary, did you know

that your Baby Boy is Lord of all creation?

Mary, did you know

that your Baby Boy would one day rule the nations?

Did you know

that your Baby Boy is heaven's perfect Lamb?

The sleeping Child you're holding is the Great, I Am.

[Radioactive Isotope 29]

To all our brave soldiers who won't be home for the holidays this year:

Camoflage and Christmas Lights

Rodney Carrington

Another Year has come and gone,

And I'm still here holdin' on,

To this rifle and a picture of my kids,

They're sayin' its a holiday,

Sure as hell don't feel that way,

I don't think Jesus meant for it to be like this.

A paper star on a plastic tree

Cotton snow in a manger scene

We do the best we can to make it feel like home.

Turkey dinner on paper plates

Sargent bows his head to pray

Boombox playin' silent night

Camouflage and Christmas Lights.

There probably up on the hill by now

Bundled up and sleddin' down

Catchin' snowflakes on the edge of their tongues

Standin' up at the top would be

The prettiest girl I've ever seen

Whispering a quiet prayer for all of us.

A paper star on a plastic tree

Cotton snow in a manger scene

We do the best we can to make it feel like home.

Turkey dinner on paper plates

Sargent bows his head to pray

Boombox playin' silent night

Camouflage and Christmas Lights.

Some say I'm a hero

But I'm just a Dad

Who's trying to protect

The most precious thing I have

Someday I'll be home again

And our world will be right

But for tonight

A paper star on a plastic tree

Cotton snow in a manger scene

We do the best we can to make it feel like home.

Turkey dinner on paper plates

Sargent bows his head to pray

Thank God it's a silent night

Camouflage and Christmas Lights

[TheUnknown 39]

"The Twelve Days After Christmas"

The first day after Christmas

My true love and I had a fight

And so I chopped the pear tree down

And burnt it, just for spite

Then with a single cartridge

I shot that blasted partridge

My true love, my true love,

my true love gave to me.

The second day after Christmas

I pulled on the old rubber gloves

And very gently wrung the necks

Of both the turtle doves

My true love, my true love,

my true love gave to me.

On the third day after Christmas

My mother caught the croup

I had to use the three French hens

To make some chicken soup

The four calling birds were a big mistake

For their language was obscene

The five golden rings were completely fake

and turned my fingers green.

The sixth day after Christmas

The six laying geese wouldn't lay

So I sent the whole darn gaggle to the

A.S.P.C.A.

On the seventh day, what a mess I found

The seven swans-a-swimming all had drowned

My true love, my true love,

my true love gave to me.

The eighth day after Christmas

Before they could suspect

I bundled up the

Eight maids-a-milking

Nine ladies dancing

Ten lords-a-leaping

Eleven pipers piping

Twelve drummers drumming - well, actually I kept one of the dancing ladies -

And sent them back collect

I wrote my true love

"We are through, love!"

And I said in so many words

"Furthermore your Christmas gifts were for the Birds!"