Online Relationships

[Andy 60]

Well?

And yes I am stuck for poll ideas, so if you hve any, just send me a PM! :)

[Drake 53]

I have a selection that's not up there....I'm in a relationship but we havn't met yet. (I'm sure that's the case for most people in an online relationship right now, lol)

[Princess 35]

There, I fixed it Drake.

I was in one for a year and a half before I realized what an asshole the guy was. Just ask Link what she thinks of my nerfherder ex. :roll:

[Alexander 0]

Ugh, online relationships. I find that there's nothing more sad than having a "love" relationship with a person you've never truly met.

[Drake 53]

On the contrary, I think that online relationships are (in some ways) better then "face-to-face" relationships because you can get to know the person before-hand without judging them on, say, how they look...since physical attraction is a major deciding factor in starting a relationship (even if you disagree). You can see someone's personality and inner beauty first before seeing what they look like.

It may not be the case for some people. For some it works and for others it doesn't.

[chozen 1]

No.. Because you could say that because you're only talking to them over computer screens you do not truly know the person you're are talking to. 94% of all communication isn't done verbally. It's through gestures and actions.

We can tell when someone lies and when they say something they don't truly mean. Over the internet there is no certainty that you are talking to who you believe your talking to.

Also a clever writer can warp his/hers personality. And give the image that he/she is someone totally different.

EDIT:

But then again you do meet some very honest people that if you had met in rl you could possibly ignore or not even notice.

[Mirax 3]

Is it sad to have any type of relationship with someone that you've never met face to face? Because talking to someone over long periods of time whether via letters, phone, in person does give credence to having a type of relationship.

As for people lying and not being themselves. Well I find that you can generally tell that over the internet as well. You have to trust your own instincts and judgement in the "real" world as much as you have to in the "virtual" world.

As for not knowing someone because you can't see the physical gestures they are making... you have a point there. However, there are many gestures and actions that can be made via this medium just as there are in a face to face encounter. What would validate the relationship for you? Being able to hear the other person's voice?

I'd say that I know people via this medium very well. I'd say I know others not at all. Just as I would say the same regarding the people that I have contact with in person. The act of seeing me with your own eyes when I'm talking, in no way means that you truly know me any better than someone that only talks to me through letters or messages via the internet.

[chozen 1]

I dunno, Mir...

I could say; I'm Alex and I'm a alcoholic. Would you know any different?

I could also put in a few; , , and you could asume i was joking.. but how would you know nay different?

I could write:

Great balls of fire....

and it would be you who puts my message into context, so the 'instincts and judgment' that you would apply to the task of defining my message would/could lead you to something i never truly meant to imply. You could also warp my post into something totally different, to something that you wanted to imply, but didn't.. if you get my meaning.

[Tsl 7]

Well, online relationships aren't perfect, but none are, so... lol. Thing is, you can't have a relationship based solely on online interaction. You have to meet sometime. Several sometimes, lol. Also, normally anything serious isn't only carried out through IMing. There are also phone conversations. It's harder to fake your personality, emotions, etc. over the phone than online, not that it can't be done. Then again, I've met plenty of people face to face that were pretty good actors and fooled me into thinking they were decent people when, in fact, they were anything but decent.

An online relationship is great in that, as Drake said, you really get to know the person without any real focus on what they look like (and if you're like me, without dying of overactive shyness). And I think after knowing a person even solely online for a year or more, you get to know what they're like, even if they try to pretend to be something they are not. There is definitely alot of trust involved too, lol.

I will admit that I used to think online relationships were ridiculous and sad, lol. Then I found myself in one. Destiny and all that stuff, lol. So what can I say except keep your mind open. I really believe it can work if both put alot of effort into it, and if both are able to trust, be trusted, make sacrifices, and compromises.

[Andy 60]

I need to try and get a real-life relationship, I think.

There are two girls I really like at work, one of them I went out with for a while, and then she basically dumped me... I don't know why, but I wish I did. And then there is a nother one who I could have been with if I asked her out straight away, but now she's been with a manager at work (who is also a friend of mine) for over a year, I think.

[Tsl 7]

:???:

*slinks out of the thread before she ends up insulted*

Edited March 23, 2004 by Tsl

[Andy 60]

Hmm?

[Pandora 77]

I really believe it can work if both put alot of effort into it, and if both are able to trust, be trusted, make sacrifices, and compromises.

I agree with this completely. Me and Ewing will be celebrating our first year anniversary on Friday. ( yes, I'm going to be unbearably bubbly this week). The only reason we could keep such a very long distance (sounds better than internet, lol) relationship for so long is trust and hard work. We know a lot about each other. But to be fair, there's still a lot we DON'T know about each other. But you would find the same thing in ANY relationship, except one that's been strong for years and years... like those old people you see holding hands on a bus, as um, romantic... as that... sounds....

[Radioactive Isotope 29]

awww. seeing older couples still together and affectionate (not overly, though) is cute. :D

[Mirax 3]

Chozen, how would I know any different in person? And you could add those types of implications when you told me that face to face and I still wouldn't know if you were being honest or joking around.

The "instincts and judgement" applied to the message whether via the internet or phone or person is the same. Sometimes people are wrong. Sometimes people are right. It's all a part of human experience.

As for getting your meaning, I can take a stab at what you mean by saying that. But it'd still be the same regardless if we were sitting in the same room having the discussion, on the phone talking, or as we are conversing via the internet. Only you can tell me what you really mean by what you say, regardless of how you tell it to me. And I can either trust you or not. Medium matters not, expect for in physical matters.

Well Beeurd, in my experience, it's not best to actually date co-workers. I know that it's pretty easy to get caught up in. But it can get really messy. As for the lady that dumped you, you could try asking her? *shrug* And the one that's with the mate... well how good a mate is he?

I completely agree, Tsl. Progressing the relationship to talking on the phone and meeting in person does allow you a bit of added protection that it's actually a member of the sex that you dig and that those pictures weren't a friend of his. But having met quite a few people in person that are phonier than anyone I've ever met online. I have a hard time saying that being in person vs. phone vs. online is any different, in terms of trust. But then I have issues with trust.

Congratulations Pod & Ewing. Good on ya. It's rare to find an individual that you can trust in person, much less long distance via internet.

[Drake 53]

Yes, congrats!

Another 7 months to the day until my and Tsl's 1st year. *starts looking for a gift* :D

[Alexander 0]

A/S/L!@^%)!@)(^%!)(@!%$##!@$

[Andy 60]

in my experience, it's not best to actually date co-workers. I know that it's pretty easy to get caught up in. But it can get really messy.

everyone always says that, but why?

[Alexander 0]

It's not so much dating co-workers that's the bad part, it's breaking up with a co-worker. Then the **** begins to fly. That's why most companies don't allow employees to date.

[Andy 60]

lol, they'd have trouble enforcing that at our store. It's like a dating agency - there are about 6 long-term couples currently working there who met eachother through working there. :lol:

[chozen 1]

It's not so much dating co-workers that's the bad part, it's breaking up with a co-worker. Then the **** begins to fly. That's why most companies don't allow employees to date.

Like how it was when you dated people from your school.. Things juyst got nasty in the end.. Or in any other subject where you have to cooperate with someone.

[Mirax 3]

Because a lot of people can't leave it at home. Not that they don't even when they're not dating someone at work. But mostly for the reasons that Chozen and Alexander already pointed out. There's the mess that gets left behind by breakups and also the seeming favoritism that is practiced by some bosses towards subordinates that they happen to be dating. They also worry about one individual being able to coerce the other into assisting in fraudlent activities.

You might be surprised at just how many companies enforce strict no interoffice dating policies. Many companies actually make one of the individuals involved leave the company.

Personally having worked with someone I dated/in offices with dating/married individuals and worked in an office with only females, I honestly can't tell you which is worse. ;)

[Andy 60]

the seeming favoritism that is practiced by some bosses towards subordinates that they happen to be dating.

Oh, I know that one alright... *mumbles about a certain certain couple who will remain nameless*

[Drake 53]

...and by bosses to their subordiantes who do favours for them.

[Tsl 7]

You speeled it wrong

*ducks and runs* :D