TheUnknown 39 Posted August 8, 2003 DAY 70 -- My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant. DAY 71 -- Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair... must try this on their bed. DAY 72 -- Slept all day so that I could annoy my captors with sleep depriving, incessant pleas for food at ungodly hours of the night. DAY 73 -- Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was... Hmmm not working according to plan! DAY 74 -- I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid? My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth. DAY 75 -- There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer." More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to their fear of my "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage. DAY 76 -- I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and may be snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant. He has mastered their frightful tongue (something akin to mole speak) and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bean 0 Posted August 8, 2003 LMAO!!! I've seen that before, but it's still funny. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ender 8 Posted August 8, 2003 I showed it to ya, kid... but it is funny. :p Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bad furday 57 Posted August 8, 2003 Ah...one can feel the brotherly bond.... :p Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chozen 1 Posted August 11, 2003 :lol: Very funny unknown... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
[Master_Revan] 0 Posted July 22, 2005 This was posted on another forum, and i thought it was hilarious, so i'd post it here. Day 13 The enemy has given me a box of dirt which they expect me to excrete into, but I was trying to slowly throw the dirt out of the box forcing them to clean it up. This seems to have resulted in them moving the box into a cold dark room in the back of the vacinity, hardly comfortable. To stake my revenge, I have begun using the plant soil instead. Day 21 The enemy has taken it too far, they put me in a cage and gave me a bruise putting me inside, and when I bit the finger of the strange man when they took me out I was hit. So I tried shooting my hair at them but it was unsuccessful, although caused the child to have a sneezing fit. Day 22 I was horrified to wake up this morning and not have any fingernails... my hands are in such pain and the enemy has bandaged them and filled my box with paper which is difficult to move in. The strange man who took me out of the box also did very strange things to me... I will have to leave a present in his shoe... Day 38 The enemy has taken a tree and put it inside their house! They seem to have put shiny and sharp weapons all over it. In order to protect myself I have climbed the tree in order to take off the shinies, as I call then. This resulted in the tree falling over. What is more strange is that I found strange looking food that the family is consuming, they are shaped like little brown men, they are flat, and smell sugary... I tried to taste one, but it made me sick. It must have been a trick, so I removed it all over the other little brown men. Day 283 Of My Captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair; must try this on their bed. Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan. There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage. I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time. . . . Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Princess 35 Posted July 22, 2005 Merged the 2 topics on this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
[Master_Revan] 0 Posted July 22, 2005 Merged the 2 topics on this ← Lol. I read the top of the thread, and i was like "WTF? SOB stole my topic and put his name on it!" But it's ok, cos' it's just merged. Cheers princess. :p Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
