Ways to Annoy a Telemarketer

[TheUnknown 39]

1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could suuuuure use some money.

2. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "Why do you want to know?" Alternately, you can tell them, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died ..." When they try to get to the sell, just keep talking about your problems.

3. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.

4. This works great if you are male -- Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Judy and I'm with XYZ Company ..." You: Wait for a second and with a really husky voice ask, "What are you wearing?"

5. Cry out in surprise, "Judy! Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where the hell she could know you from.

6. Say "No" over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one and keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. This is most fun if you can do it until they hang up.

7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply, in as SINISTER a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends ... would you be my friend?"

8. If the company cleans rugs, respond: "Can you get out blood? Can you get out GOAT blood? How about HUMAN blood?

9. After the telemarketer gives their spiel, ask him/her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you could not just give your credit-card number to a complete stranger.

10. Tell the telemarketer that you work for the same company, they often can't sell to employees.

11. Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a telemarketer, set the receiver down, shout or scream "Oh my God!" and then hang up.

12. Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.

13. Tell them it is dinnertime, BUT ask if they would please hold. Put them on your speakerphone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation.

14. Tell the telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and ask if they could bring you some beer.

15. Ask them to fax the information to you, and make up a number.

16. Tell the telemarketer, "Okay, I will listen to you. But I should probably tell you, I'm not wearing any clothes."

17. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on Leon, cut it out! Seriously, though, Leon, how's your momma?"

18. Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up ... louder ... louder ... louder ...

19. Tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY, because you want to write EVERY WORD down.

[Mickey 1]

My freind jeffy got a "pre-approved" call the other night at work. So he started jumping around screeaming in a little girl voice "Omigawd!! Omigawd!! I've been pre-approved! I can't believe this this is sooo amzing!" He did that for a few minutes, then hung up.

[Andy 60]

lol what my grandad does is keep them talking for ages (they are paying a phone bill after all), and sound like hes interested right up until the last minute.

With junk mail that offers credit cards and such, he puts the stuff from one company into a pre-paid enveolpe for another company and sends it off :p

[Princess 35]

We've been getting illegally robodialed at my parent's house, so my dad has waited until he gets a person and then blows a whistle in the phone

[Ayingel 24]

If you get a call and it's just a dead line, call back the number to see who it is. Calling without the intent to communicate (as a business) is illegal, and they can be reported to the BBB. I wouldn't suggest blowing a whistle into the phone purely for the reason that I use to be a telemarketer, (and it wasn't because I wanted to have that as a job) and you can really damage a person's ears and make it so they're unable to work.

Edited June 19, 2011 by Ayingel