Pandora 77 Posted August 3, 2011 YOU ACTUALLY SAID THAT?!?!?!?!?! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jake Durron 23 Posted August 3, 2011 Yes!!! Right before I texted: Dear god help me!!!! I'm actually cooing over a cribmidget at the restaurant. To you. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bad furday 57 Posted August 3, 2011 Ha! And speaking of midgets.....my college Writing professor told us that when she was a girl, she thought that those old style urinals - the ones that are set into the floor- were showers for midgets! We all died when she told us that :p Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pandora 77 Posted August 3, 2011 :rofl: out of the mouths of babes.... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ayingel 24 Posted August 3, 2011 So, the news was just talking about the next "world's tallest building" being built in Saudi Arabia (supposed to be bigger than the hotel in Dubai), and how it's also going to have the "world's highest observation deck." The comment made? Anchor: "Oh, it looks kinda like Cloud City!" Weatherman: "I was just gonna say, it looks like you could park Slave I on there!" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bad furday 57 Posted August 3, 2011 *squee That's great! :D Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pandora 77 Posted August 3, 2011 :lol: we are a pack of easily entertained nerds. I love it! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bad furday 57 Posted September 5, 2011 Found this one trawling a forum: My neighbor found a bullet and a couple casings in her car after she left the window cracked...oh yeah there was also a bloody human toe in there too. Imagine coming back and finding that in your car. :eek: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bad furday 57 Posted September 13, 2011 From the comments on the story about the hot dog statue. Gulag: This is just a marketing scheme cooked up by Scholastic for their newest book "Encyclopedia Brown and the Case of the Friendly Frankfurter." Insert Clever Name: Can you tell why Encyclopedia was so confident that Bugs couldn't have been at the fair? Turn to page 86 for the answer. Answer: Earlier in the day, Bugs had bragged that he had won the toy car at the fair by playing the ring toss game while enjoying a delicious hot dog made of only the finest cuts of pork. In reality, most hot dogs contain mostly gristle and rectum. When Encyclopedia pointed this out, Bugs returned the stolen car and shuffled off, vowing revenge. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pandora 77 Posted October 25, 2011 podracer838 says Regarding your ghosts, you're in a catholic hospital, right? Cinnamon sticks attrack angelic protection. Amanda*red+u says Correct I might have to get some holy water podracer838 says Hehehe in a five-gallon bucket? If you fill water balloons with it, does that make holy hand grenades? Amanda*red+u says In some cases podracer838 says muwahahahahaahaha lol It could be the three pots of coffee I've had today, but I crack myself up sometimes. :rofl: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ayingel 24 Posted October 25, 2011 Sounds like a girl who came into work on Friday. "I may have had a cup of coffee this morning. Just kidding. I had eight." She then proceeded to literally bounce off the walls. Not to mention the kindred spirit she had at one of my tables: a little girl got mad at her dad for "giving" her doll some of her lemonade. It quickly became "NO DAD! She's drinking coffee." I have to admit it. Sometimes, I really love my job. But the rest of the time I hate it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bad furday 57 Posted November 19, 2011 I mayt or bay not ebme be furink. durnk. awesomse Heh. :D Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ayingel 24 Posted December 15, 2011 (edited) Keep in mind: my manager shaved his beard in November to mark the growth for the month, and he had absolutely no chin afterwards. We were talking about weird tables at work and I mentioned the table with the obnoxious facial hair I had a few weeks ago. Evan said, "Don't make fun of people with facial hair," to which I retorted, "Hey, Evan, nice to see you have a chin again." Promptly followed by an FU and all of the staff nearly rolling on the floor. Edited December 15, 2011 by Ayingel Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TheUnknown 39 Posted December 15, 2011 Some awesome quotes from one of the adjuncts: Keep your Black Fridays and Cyber Mondays - I'm waiting for Frenetic Shopping sithsplosion Wednesday This GOP debate is like watching a bunch of bald men fighting over a comb. For the first time in the long time I have been on the job market, I have been asked to write a "statement of faith" explaining how I integrate Catholic principles into my teaching. As I read this email - I kid you not - I was listening to the Butthole Surfers' classic 1987 album "Locust Abortion Technician." I'm opposed to capital punishment, except in the case of pretentious American assholes who use British spellings like "favourite". America is still dependent on oil while Brazil gets 80% of its energy from sugarcane. How bad have things gotten in America that we've fallen behind a country whose last technological innovation was vagina waxing? How did the hipster burn his mouth? He ate something before it was cool. As an educator I believe that beneath the cocky exterior of the stereotypical fratboy is a young man eager to learn, and beneath that is a rapist. I'd respond favorably to one of these offers of fellatio for higher grades if I had any confidence that these students were better at it than they are at writing. I need one volunteer to dress up like a Star Wars storm trooper with me so we can go to a Verizon Wireless store, look around for a moment, and say "These aren't the Droids we're looking for." It'll be worth it. Student: "There is nothing written on my paper except a grade. Why are there no comments?" Ed: "Because I wanted to make sure I put the same amount of effort into grading it that you did into writing it." Newt Gingrich's womanizing baffles me. He has the sex appeal of a burning orphanage. I'm writing a memoir of my experience grading this semester. It's entitled "And God Wept." Catching plagiarism is actually really easy, because the writing quality abruptly changes in mid-paper from "stroke victim learning to speak again" to "Daniel Webster speech." I'm against capital punishment, but I'll pull the switch myself if they ever catch the guy who invented AutoTune. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bad furday 57 Posted December 15, 2011 *applauds them all* Lol...Hipsters...Fauxhemians! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pandora 77 Posted December 15, 2011 I even like the one about the comb.... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TheUnknown 39 Posted December 16, 2011 (edited) You all should check out his blog Gin and Tacos. Warning: he's very liberal and the humor can be of the "Oh, that is sooooo wrong!" variety. Edited December 16, 2011 by TheUnknown Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bad furday 57 Posted December 16, 2011 Reading it now- I'm enjoying it- his piece on the now memed "What if _____ was _______?" ie: What if Michael Vick was White? ( actually done by a Sports Illustrated, I think) or his version, "What if Tebow was Black?" has an interesting mix of comments. My fave: cromartie: The career options for black Tebow are as follows: Canada Wide Receiver/Running Back NBA The career options for white Tebow are as follows: Canada Safety Evangelical lecture circuit Interesting that Canada is the one constant in this matrix. :p Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TheUnknown 39 Posted December 16, 2011 Read the one about buying a house from Barack Obama or his review of Sarah Palin's book. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Andy 60 Posted January 13, 2012 I'm opposed to capital punishment, except in the case of pretentious American assholes who use British spellings like "favourite". What a coincidence! I'm against capital punishment except in the case of Brits who use American words and spellings like color, sidewalk, and burglarize. ;) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pandora 77 Posted January 13, 2012 Burglarize is totally a word. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Andy 60 Posted January 14, 2012 We just say burgle. :p Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pandora 77 Posted January 14, 2012 Now THAT is not a word! :lol: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
